Hazardous Materials Data Sheet
ANALYSIS
ELEMENT
Woman
SYMBOL
WO2
DISCOVERER
Adam
ATOMIC MASS
Accepted as 55kg but varies from
45kg to 225kg
OCCURRENCE
Large quantities found in urban
areas with trace elements found in most other areas.
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
Surface normally covered in powder
and paint film.
Boils at nothing, freezes for no
apparent reason.
Melts if given special treatment.
Bitter if used incorrectly
Found in various grades ranging
from virgin material to common ore.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
Affinity to gold, platinum and
all precious stones.
Absorbes great quantities of expensive
substances.
Explodes spontaneously without
warning or reason.
Softens and takes on a rosy glow
when soaked in hot water.
Greatly increased activity when
soaked in alcohol.
The most powerful money reducing
agent known to man.
COMMON USES:
Highly ornamental, especially in
sports cars.
Can be a great aid to relaxation.
TESTS:
Pure specimens turn bright pink
when discovered in the natural state.
Turns green when placed next to
a superior specimen.
ANALYSIS
Element:
Man
Symbol :
Ah (short for Asshole)
Quantitative :
Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown
hair, 6' 0" in length, though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer :
Eve
Occurrence :
Found following duel element Wo,
often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.
Physical properties :
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH
(any alcohol).
Tends to fall into very low energy
state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore ... zzzzz).
Gains considerable mass as specimen
ages, loses reactive nature.
Rarely found in pure form after
14th year.
Often damaged as a direct result
of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.
Chemical properties :
All forms desire reaction with
Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
May react with several Wo isotopes
in short period under extremely favorable conditions.
Usually willing to react with whatever
is available.
Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existent
to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red).
Reaction styles vary from extremely
slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
Storage :
Best results apparently near 18
for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
Uses :
Heavy boxes, top shelves, long
walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
Tests :
Pure specimen will rarely reveal
purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
Caution :
Tends to react extremely violently
when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise
very malleable under correct conditions.