Cats In Physics
1 - Law of Cat Inertia:
A cat at rest will tend to
remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force,
such as the opening of cat
food or a nearby scurrying mouse.
2 - Law of Cat Motion:
A cat will move in a straight
line, unless there is really good reason to change direction.
3 - Law of Cat Magnetism:
All blue blazers and black
sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics:
Heat flows from a warmer to
a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows
to the cat.
5 - Law of Cat Stretching:
A cat will stretch to a distance
proportional to the length of the nap just taken.
6 - Law of Cat Sleeping:
All cats must sleep with people
whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved
as is possible for the cat.
7 - Law of Cat Elongation:
A cat can make her body long
enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting
on it.
8 - Law of Cat Acceleration:
A cat will accelerate at a
constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.
9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance:
Cats must attend all meals
when anything good is served.
10 - Law of Rug Configuration:
No rug may remain in its naturally
flat state for very long.
11 - Law of Obedience Resistance:
A cats resistance varies in
proportion to a humans desire for her to do something.
12 - First Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy
can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little
as possible.
13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation:
Cats also know that energy
can only be stored by a lot of napping.
14 - Law of Refridgerator Observation:
If a cat watches a refridgerator
long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.
15 - Law of Electric Blanket
Attraction:
Turn on an electric blanket
and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.
16 - Law of Random Comfort
Seeking:
A cat will always seek and
usually take over,
the most comfortable spot
in any given room.
17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:
All bags and boxes in a given
room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.
18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment:
A cats irritation rises in
direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
19 - Law of Milk Consumption:
A cat will drink his weight
in milk, squared, just to show you he can.
20 - Law of Furniture Replacement:
A cats desire to scratch furniture
is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.
21 - Law of Cat Landing:
A cat will always land in
the softest place possible.
22 - Law of Fluid Displacement:
A cat immersed in milk will
displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.
23 - Law of Cat Disinterest:
A cats interest level will
vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying
to interest him.
24 - Law of Pill Rejection:
Any pill given to a cat has
the potential energy to reach escape velocity.
25 - Law of Cat Composition:
A cat is composed of Matter
+ Anti Matter + It Doesn`t Matter.