A Dog Called Sex
 

Most dog owners prefer to call their pooch something along the lines of "Fido" or "Rover".  I named mine "Sex", and here is the story:

One day, I went to go get a license for my dog.  I went to the man behind the little window and said;
"I would like a license for Sex"
"So would I", he replied.
"No, I`m talking about a real dog".
"It doesn`t matter what she looks like, you seem to be happy enough with her".
"No! No!  You don`t understand!  I have had Sex since I was very young".
"You must have been some wild kid".
I didn`t understand this person, but I did manage to get a license for my dog anyway.

Soon after that I was married to a lovely lady.  On our honeymoon, we went to a quiet motel in Portland, OR.  I had brought along the dog, since nobody seemed to want to babysit him while we were gone.  Knowing that having a dog in the room would be a discomfort to my new wife, I talked to the manager.
"Could I have another room for Sex?"
"Oh, I assure you sir, all of our rooms are fit for sex".
"No! No!  You don`t understand!  You see, Sex keeps me and my wife up all night".
"Me too!  It`s supposed to!"
I didn`t understand this person, but I did manage to get an extra room for my dog anyway.

After another year of living with my humble hound, I had noticed that a dog show had come to town, and they were holding a contest for the best looking dog in the city.  Naturally, as I was quite proud of Sex, I ran right down and entered him in the contest.
"Excuse me, but may I have a display booth for Sex?"
"I`m sorry sir, but we can`t allow that here".
"Oh please!  I wanted to have Sex on television and everything!"
"I`m dreadfully sorry, but we still can`t do that, especially on TV".
Disgruntled and disappointed, I took my dog home with me while the dog show went on.

After a few more years, I grew quite tired of living with my wife.  She took to nagging quite frequently and one day we just decided to quit everything and get a divorce.  As we were in court, we fought over custody of the mutt.
"Excuse me Judge, but I would like to have Sex".
"Now! Now!  This is a courtroom!"
"No! No!  You don`t understand!  I have had Sex before I was married".
"So have I"
"But after I got married I lost Sex!"
"So did I"
"But please your honour, let me just have Sex for as long as I can".
"Well, I can`t do anything about that...."
However, I was quite happy in discovering that I had gotten custody of the dog.

Living on my own, I had to move into an apartment where I had to walk the dog frequently, as Sex was not fond of living indoors.  One day, while I was buying a hot dog at the hot dog stand, Sex broke loose of my grip and ran away, leash and all.  I forgot about the hot dog and searched for him, all day and well into the night.  I was looking in the alley when a policeman came to me.
"Excuse me sir, but what are you doing in this alleyway at 4am?"
"Hello Officer.  I`m just looking for Sex".

My case comes up next friday.