Men are a pain in the @$$, women are a pain EVERYWHERE!
Men are only good for one thing...two, if they're good at it.
Men call us birds. Is that 'cos we pick up worms?
Men come in 3 sizes: Small, Average, and DAMN that's gonna hurt!
Men come in 3 sizes: Small, Average, and Ooohhh BABY!
Men come in three sizes: Small, Medium, and Oh My God!
Men do to get PMS - Pre-Middle aged Syndrome.
Men do too get PMS - Penis Malfunction Syndrome.
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what *else* is on TV.
Men give love to get sex, women give sex to get love.
Men growing up are rewarded socially for eating a lot.
Men have become tools of their tools. Thoreau
Men look before using the toilet. Women find this illogical.
Men of quality respect women's equality.
Men only learned to walk upright cause they put beer on the top shelf!
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
Men tell women: Of course I remembered your birthday.
Men that take steroids should be hung.
Men vs. Beer: When beer goes flat, you can toss it out.
Men who murder man-bashing talk show hosts...on the final Oprah.
Men will always be men, no matter where they are.
Men with playful kitties should NEVER sleep nude!
Men! Go figure!
Men, learn from John Bobbitt - sleep on your stomachs!
Men, your objective is to eliminate Barney the Purple Dinosaur....
Men...can't live with 'em, can't sell 'em for parts.
Men: You can't live with them, pass the beer nuts.
Men? On the whole, I'd rather buy new batteries.
"All great men make mistakes." -- Churchill
"Deceive boys with toys, but men with oaths." -- Shakespeare
"Forgotten men at the bottom of the economic pyramid" - FDR
"How fortunate for rulers, that men do not think." -Adolf Hitler
"I don't like men with too many muscles..." - Janet Veiss
"IDDQD": Real Men don't play in Doom's GodMode.
"IDKFA": Real Men don't use Doom's Very Happy Ammo Mode.
"It is a time for men and their ways." -- Merlin
"It is the doom of men that they forget." -- Merlin
"Love happens to men and women who don't know each other."
"See what free men can do!" -- Rhutan
"The fear of God keeps men in obedience." -- Burton
"The gods play games with men as balls." - Titus Maccius Platus
"What men or gods are these?" -- Keats
12 Men Killed in Freak Jell-O Accident
9 out of 10 men who tried cats prefered men.
Smith University: Where men are men and the women are too.
A committee is 12 men doing the work of one. - Murphy
A dress makes no sense unless it inspires men to remove it.
AIDS: the leading killer of men under 45.
All men are alike, but have different faces to tell them apart.
All men are born equal. The tough job is to outgrow it.
All men are created equal, but some men are more equal than others.
All men are equal - it just sticks out more on some.
All men are equal in a public bath - more or less!
Anger makes dull men witty, but it keep them poor.
Bald men don't waste their hormones growing hair.
Belly button: Where men put 'honey' in after being a 'busy bee'.
Beware of men who won't be bothered with details
Bigotry may be roughly defined as the anger of men who have no
opinions.
Birds are entangled by their feet; Men by their tongues.
Books are not men and yet they stay alive.
Confucius say: Many men smoke but Fu Man Chu.
Conservative men believe that women should be barefoot & pregnant.
Cosmetics: Preventing men from reading between the lines.
Dawn: The time when men of reason go to bed.
Delivery men do it at the rear entrance.
Difference between men & boys is the price of their toys.
Do not follow in the footsteps of men of old; seek what they sought.
Earth will grow worse till men redeem it. -- Chesterson
Elevator men do it on all floors
Elevator Men do it up and down.
Feminism: It's because of men that sh*t happens.
Few great men could get past the Personnel Department.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Fools rush in where wise men fear to post.
For it is the doom of men that they forget.
Golf separates the men from the poise.
He thinks too much, such men are dangerous. - JC, Shakespeare
Home Safety Tip for Men #1: Don't iron naked.
How fortunate for rulers, that men do not think. --Adolph Hitler.
Hungry men think the cook lazy.
I am Lorena Bobbitt of Borg: All men shall be circumssimilated.
I look into your eyes see men lying broken at the bottom of your well.
I may be an idiot, but indeed I am no fool. - Men at Work
If God were female, do you REALLY think men would exist?
If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. - F. Kennedy
If men got pregnant abortion would be safe, legal, & available
forever.
If only men came with pull down menus and online help..
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.
If women like it, it's Erotica. If men like it, it's Pornography!
Insurance men do it as a matter of policy.
It's a tragedy that no men become like their mothers.
Many men smoke, but fu man chu
More comfortable seeing 2 men holding guns than holding hands?
My shirt was SO tight, the men could hardly breathe.
Nine out of 10 men who tried Camels preferred women!
Not all men are fools, some are bachelors.
Old men in Jerusalem - geezers of Nazareth
Old men still remember how, they just don't remember WHY!
One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns.
P-town: where the women are strong & the men are pretty!
Pascal: Where men are men and C is nervous!
Peter Pan Syndrome: Men who refuse to grow up.
Pizza-Delivery men do it in 10 minutes or less!
Real men are afraid of butt pirates.
Real men are pro-choice.
Real men don't abuse children.
Real men don't beat children.
Real men don't beat women.
Real men don't eat children.
Real men don't get cut off. Know what I mean Mr. Bobbit?
Real men don't set for Stun!!
Real men don't sexually harrass.
Real men don't use thesauruses
Real men jog home from the vasectomy.
Real Men program in >solder<!
Real men sleep in the wet spot.
Real men wear leather - chiffon wrinkles.
Real men write self-modifying code
Remember, in nuclear war, all men are cremated equal.
Sexy men are nature's way of saying "keep it up!"
Sign on the road: MEN SHOULD BE WORKING!
Some are becoming the men we wanted to marry. -Steinem
Some men are alive simply because it's against the law to kill them.
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
Some men are not fools, they stayed bachelors.
Some men without a god are like fish without bicycles.
Some nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
Subway: A place so crowded even men can't all get seats.
Tagline thieves, and the men who love them...on the next Geraldo!
The actions of men are the best interpretations of their thoughts.
The men who really believe in themselves are all in lunatic asylums.
Thus men may grow wiser every day. - AYLI, Shakespeare
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
Travel important today; IRS men arrive tomorrow.
We're looking for a few good men -- B. Cassidy
When two men in business always agree, one of them is unnecessary.
Why are men so stupid? No brains to think with.
Why can't men remember to leave the lid DOWN?
Wise men change their minds, fools never
Women & Cats do as they like; Men & Dogs had better get used to it.
Women fake orgasm, Men fake foreplay.
Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
You can't read men like a book but it's fun browsing the pages.
14th Amendment=equal protection *without* regard of sex.
1992 presidential election: 54 percent voters women, 46 men
A father's first right--fathering
A safe sperm gathers no defects
A woman's accusation is all that is need to for conviction
A woman's choice can kill a man
Adolescence pressures boys to withdraw emotionally
All the world's evils are not men's responsibility
All-male club--Homeless street men!
Ask parents if they want their daughters to be more disposable than
sons
BOTH sexes kill men more than they kill women
Battered Men canNOT attack their abuser or use it for self-defense
Boot Camp: Turn men into "efficient" machines by devaluing them as
humans
Boys' abusers are usually women
California: financing the study of *only* female prisoner health
issues
Capital Punishment: The Male-Only Death Penalty
Corporal punishment is boy punishment
Criticize feminism in law journals, risk label of anti-woman
Crying: strengthens immune system by cleansing impurities
Dating: women have option to pursue, men have the expectation.
"A man is as old as he's feeling, a woman as old as she looks."
"A man never tells you anything until you contradict him."
"A man's a man for a' that!" -- Burns
"A man should keep friendships in constant repair." -- Johnson
"Every man and woman is a star." -- Crowley
"Every man over forty is a scoundrel." -- Shaw
"Every moment dies a man." -- Babbage
"For a man, bigger is better! It's tradition..." -- Britan
"If you wish to win a man's heart, allow him to confute you."
"It is impossible to think of a man of any force or originality."
"Men are made by nature unequal." -- Froude
"Men are not innocent as beasts and never will be." -- Auden
"Men are pigs... Pass the chocolate!" -- Dornhecker
"Men are respectable only as they respect." -- Emerson
"Men do not live only by fighting evils." -- Berlin
"Men fear death as children fear the dark." -- Bacon
"Men, in general, are but great, great children." -- Napoleon
"Men know life too early, women too late." -- Wilde
"Men live by positive goals." -- Berlin
Here's to our wives and girlfriends...may they never meet!
All men are alike, but have different faces to tell them apart.
All men are equal. It just sticks out more on some.
Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle aged men.
By remaining single, a man is a permanent public temptation.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Home Safety Tip for Men #1: Don't iron naked.
If men got pregnant abortion would be legal forever.
Man loves little and often, woman much and rarely.
Men and nations behave wisely when all options are exhausted.
Men: Because cucumbers can't fix a car.
Men fight because of causes. Causes exist that men may fight.
Men growing up are rewarded socially for eating a lot.
Men hate more readily than they love.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Men make great pets!
Men Tell Women: "No. I would never think of cheating."
Men Tell Women: "Of course I'll respect you in the morning."
Men Tell Women: "I don't care what it costs."
Men Tell Women: "I'll call you tomorrow."
Men Tell Women: "I love foreplay."
Men Tell Women: "I'm a one woman man."
Men Tell Women: "I'm working late."
Men Tell Women: "I've never met anyone like you."
Men Tell Women: "I've never said this to anyone before."
Men Tell Women: "Of course I remembered your birthday.
Men Tell Women: "We can still be friends."
Men Tell Women: "You're like a sister to me."
Men vs. Beer: Beer can't interrupt.
Men vs. Beer: Beer does as many chores as a man.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't care if you balance your checkbook.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't care if you go shopping.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't mind when your mother visits.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't sleep with the windows open.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't snore.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't sulk.
Men vs. Beer: Beer doesn't think black leather bikinis are neat.
Men vs. Beer: Beer lasts longer than seven seconds.
Men vs. Beer: Beer never expects you to sleep in the wet spot.
Men vs. Beer: Beer never leaves the toilet seat up.
Men vs. Beer: Beer never needs a shave.
Men vs. Beer: Beer's life does not revolve around football.
Men vs. Beer: Beer tastes good.
Men vs. Beer: Beer will only come when you want it to.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't care if you can't find the carburetor.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't expect you to cook dinner.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't love its sports car more than you.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't mind pantyhose drying in the bathroom.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't mind you not being wanting a beer.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't switch the TV channel.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't tease you because you like Manilow.
Men vs. Beer: Beer won't want to go out with the other beers.
Men vs. Beer: Beer wouldn't waste its money on men's magazine.
Men vs. Beer: Beer would never make fun of your new outfit.
Men vs. Beer: Having a beer can't make you pregnant.
Men vs. Beer: Having a beer won't make you want to shower.
Men vs. Beer: If beer finishes before you, you can have another.
Men vs. Beer: When beer goes flat, you can toss it out.
Men vs. Beer: You don't have to let a beer win.
Men who love women who hate men who love women.
Men will always be men, no matter where they are.
Real men *can* cook!
Real men put the toilet seat back down!
Real men sleep in the wet spot.
Seminars for Men: How to fill an ice tray.
Seminars for Men: You too can be the designated driver.
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Three Types of Men: Intelligent, Nice Looking, and the Majority.
To err is human, to not admit an err is totally male.
Yawn: The only time some men get to open their mouths.
Y Chromosomes: Deity's way of keeping things mildly interesting.
You can't read men like a book but it's fun browsing the pages.
A husband is a lover who pushed his luck too far.
A lover teaches a wife all her husband kept hidden from her.
A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car.
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: she changes it more often.
An honest man is one who's never been caught.
Behind every satisfied woman is an exhausted man.
Behind every successful man stands a bunch of amazed co-workers.
Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
Boys will be boys...for much longer than is generally necessary.
Don't apologize, you're male...that automatically makes you wrong.
Don't jump on a man unless he's down.
Don't bring your office problems home, men never do that, do they?
Every man has a sane spot somewhere.
Fun is fun but no girl wants to laugh all of the time.
Gentlemen who prefer blondes usually marry brunettes.
Golf is men in ugly pants walking.
I married beneath me - all women do.
I am a working woman... where would I be without caffeine?
I met a wonderful man - he's fictional but you can't have everything.
If it ain't broke, just let your husband tinker with it.
If men are wicked with religion, what would they be without it?
If men got pregnant abortion would be safe, legal & available forever.
Man is the only animal that blushes ... or needs to.
Man may often be funniest when he least means to be.
Marriage has many pains ... but celibacy has no pleasures.
Maternity is a matter of fact, paternity is a matter of opinion.
Men are like programs... a smart woman keeps a backup.
Men should come with instruction booklets.
Men are animals but they make great pets!
Never stop by a working woman's house...unannounced.
Once they were men ... now they are land crabs.
Once made equal to man, woman became his superior.
Thanks to working women, thousands of men...have learned to vacuum.
The more I see of men, the more I like dogs.
The way to a man's heart is with an axe.
To women men are like big dogs that talk.
When women go wrong men go after them.
When a man seeks your advice he generally wants your praise.
Women prefer the simple things in life... MEN!
 
 

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