Blonde Jokes

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Two blondes from a small town were visiting New York City for the first time when they saw a hot dog vendor. Not having street vendors back home they decided to have this new experience.

After getting their orders the first blonde turned to the second and said "What part of the dog did you get?"

Three pregnant women, blonde, brunette, and redhead, were sitting together and knitting for their babies. The redhead said "I hope I have a girl because I've knitted a pink sweater." The brunette said "I hope I have a boy because I've knitted a blue sweater." And the blonde said "I hope I have a spastic because I've screwed these arms up"

A blonde is in a bar and her cellular phone rings, so she picks it up and says " Hello, how did you know I was here?"

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing that cows don't fly.

A blonde called the company where she had just purchased a cellular phone. Her problem concerned the instruction manual. She noted that the first half was printed in French which he did could not read, and the second half was in English, her native tongue, but it was printed upside down. After explaining her dilemma, she paused for a second, and then hung up.

A blonde was having a problem with her laser printer, so she called the company's technical support. The help desk technician asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The blonde replied, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is working fine."

Why do blondes like tilt steering?
More head room.

Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
More leg room.

What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
An air mattress.

What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
An Air Bag.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
Pregnant.

Why don't blondes make good truck drivers?
Give them a good load and it takes them 9 months to deliver!

Why did the blonde fall out of the tree?
She slipped while raking leaves.

Two blondes were driving their car cross country. They took turns driving and napping. One afternoon the view was magnificent, the driver woke the passenger and said, "Look at that forest, isn't it the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?" The other blonde woke up, took a look and said "What forest? I can't see a thing. All those trees are in the way!"

Did you hear about the blonde who lost $50 on a TV football play?
She lost another $50 on the instant replay.

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says, "Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Did you hear about the blonde who complained to the judge about her car being towed away. She told him there was a sign that said 'FINE FOR PARKING'.

Why did the blonde have 17 friends accompany her to the movies?
The sign said "Under 18 not admitted."

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