On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
"38 years on the same spot."

In a Los Angeles dance hall:
"Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

Bumper sticker seen on an Austin Mini:
"The parts falling from this car are of the finest British workmanship."

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
"Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves."

On a roller coaster:
"Watch your head."

On the grounds of a public school:
"No trespassing without permission."

On a Tennessee highway:
"When this sign is under water, this road is impassable."

In front of a New Hampshire car wash:
"If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car."

Advertisement for lawn sprinkler system:
"Dew it yourself."

Bumper Sticker:
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.

In a Japanese hotel room:
Please to bathe inside the tub.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.

Dog for sale:
Eats anything and is fond of children.

Fred's Auto Repair:
Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

In a department store:
"Stock up and save! Limit one per customer."

Want Ad:
"For Sale: Antique Desk, suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers."

A bumper sticker:
Horn broken. Watch for finger.

Advertisement at a gas station, somewhere between San Francisco and Los Angeles on Interstate 5:
"Kids with gas eat free!"

On a bumper sticker:
Keep honking, I'm reloading.

In a classified ad:
"Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

In a classified ad:
"Vacation special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts."

At the dry cleaners:
"We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand."

On a radiator repair garage:
"Best place to take a leak."