Welcome to the World According to Sam
note: this site is under constant construction, so please check back as often as possible.
DEFINITIONS (or just what the hell does all this mean?)
This is SAM
Samology - the study of the teachings of Sam
Samism - a word that does not exist, but should, according to Sam. Also used in reference to thoughts and ideas that Sam holds to be true, whether popular opinion or not
Samite - a person who agrees with the teachings of Sam. Requirements for being a Samite include, but are not limited to:
1 - being mentally endowed. (This does not refer to people that imagine that they are better physically equipped than they really are, but rather to those with an IQ higher than ripe cantalope)
2 - having the courage to challenge authority at all times
3 - having seen all three of the original Star Wars movies, and enjoyed them
THE TEACHINGS OF SAM
Think for yourself.
Life is like a can of jalepeno peppers, you never know which one is going to burn your ass.
90% of everything is crap.
Are inter-state highways really necessary in Hawaii?
If meat eaters are carnivores, and plant eaters are herbivores, would that make the dung beetle a poopivore?
THEORIES
Christians strive to be like God.
God is omniscient, all knowing.
Knowldge is power, therefore absolute knowledge is absolute power.
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
Corruption is the basis of evil.
Therefore, God is evil and so are the Christians.