This character list is in no way complete, but I'm adding to it all the time.

Eric Cartman	"Cartman, you're such a fatass, when you walk down the street, people go 'Goddamn, that's a big fat ass!'" - Kyle Eric, usually referred to simply as Cartman by the others, is the fat kid (or fatass if you prefer). In a normal episode, you will find several references to the size of Eric's ample backside, and if that kind of thing REALLY gets you going, the episode "Weight Gain 4000" should be right up your street. Cartman's mom, besides being extremely patient to her spoilt brat of a son, is the town bike, and was (really) on the cover of "Crackwhore" magazine. Likes: Cheesy Poofs, Snacky Cakes and not a whole hell of a lot else Dislikes: Aliens, Anal probes, people who call his mom a slut Often heard saying: "Dildo!", "Hey!", "Kick Ass" and "I kick you in the nuts!" Voice: Trey Parker
Stan Marsh	"Sta-an wants to ki-iss Wendy Testaburger" - Cartman Stan is the wuss of the group. His ongoing romance with Wendy Testaburger is enough to make you want to puke - at least it's enough to make Stan want to puke. Every time he talks to her "bleeach" - up comes his lunch in a tremendous range of colours - from Green, to yellow to a worrisome brown. One of my favourite moments in the first Episode (Cartman gets an anal probe) is when Stan has just hurled, and Stan and Wendy perform an in-depth examination of the contents... "oh look, a french fry..." Likes: Wendy Testaburger, Farts Dislikes: Gay Dogs, His Sister Often heard saying: "Dude!", "Bleah" (sound made when throwing up on Wendy) and "Dude, this is pretty f&%ked up right here!" Voice: Trey Parker
Kyle Broslofski	"Well Kyle, No! No, no no! I'm Mr Hat and you're a little turd - y'hear me? You go to hell, you go to hell and you DIE!" - Mr Hat Kyle is the Jewish kid, and if you think that's not funny, watch the show. There's nothing politically correct about South Park, and all races cop a serve - even us poor ol' white trash. The black chef is a great example, as is good ol' Kyle the Jewish boy. Check out the episode "Mr Hankey's Christmas Special" (Mr Hankey is a talking turd by the way) for some terrific Jewish humour. Kyle's Mom is apparently a bitch - at least, Eric wrote a song which says she is, so she must be... a ten ton mega killer bitch even. Likes: Mr Hankey Dislikes: Being Jewish on ChristmasBR> Often heard saying: "Oh My GOD! They Killed Kenny!" Voice: Matt Stone
Kenny McCormick	"Oh My GOD! They killed Kenny! You BASTARDS!" - Kyle Kenny, the kid from a poor family, always wears a heavily padded hooded parka, and therefore everything he says is muffled. It's a good thing too, because most of what he says is filthy. For some bizarre rason, Kenny is always being killed, at least once, in every episode of the show - with one exception to date. I don't want to spoil it so I won't tell you which episode he DOESN'T die in, but I'll give you a hint - POO! Once you've watched the show for a while, you'll be waiting to hear the cry "Oh my God! They killed Kenny! You BASTARDS!" (And in at least one case "Oh my GOD! I found a Penny!" - "You Bastard!" - hmmm, that's ALSO poo related but a different episode again). Likes: Drinking gas, talking dirty Dislikes: Dying (although he should be used to it by now) Often heard saying: "Mmmmfmfmmmfmmfmffffmffmfmfmfmmffmfffffmmfmfmf" Voice: Matt Stone
Ms Cartman	"Your mother is what we native Americans call 'Bear with wide canyon'." - Big Chief Running Water Eric's mom, and a fittingly weird person to boot. Ms. Cartman is a slut, but you wouldn't know it to hear her speak. She's about the sweetest, loveliest, kindest woman you could ever hope to meet, particularly when it comes to Eric and anything in pants. She was once on the cover of "Crackwhore" magazine and can usually be found baking something or other - in fact her cooking is well known for being the best in town. Perhaps that explains the size of Eric's butt! Likes: Absolutely everything, and is particularly fond of her spoilt little sh*t of a son and sex with just about anything with a pulse (and some things WITHOUT!) Dislikes: Nothing. Ms Cartman has gotta be on Prozac.. either that or she's been lobotomized! Often heard saying: "You want some Cheesy Poofs hon?"
Sheila Broslofski	"Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world" - Eric Cartman Sheila's Kyle's mom, and according to the entire town, she's a total bitch! She's a sterotypical New York (despite South Park being in Colorado) Jewish Woman, right down (up?) to her big red hair, and has an opinion, usually negative, about everything. She has managed to annoy everyone at some point or other, including the time she had the school's Christmas play changed to avoid any Christian references, and the time she got the whole town in a tizz about the kids' favourite show, Terrance and Philip (see below). Likes: A good "cause" she can get behind, complaining. Dislikes: Apart from the above, not a lot. Often heard saying: "What what WHAT!?!?"
Gerald Broslofski	"Listen to your father Kyle!" - Sheila Broslofski Gerald's a high-paid lawyer, and is Kyle's (and Ike's - sort of) father. He used to be best friends with Kenny's Dad, Stu McCormick, but since Stu's now (in the words of his wife) "a broken down, drunken f*&k!", they don't really see eye to eye these days. Likes: Imported Beer, fishing (although he doesn't know what a tackle box is!). Dislikes: Ham? Well, how the hell should I know - he's a Jew, so that's gotta be half-right. Often heard saying: Something fatherly.. told ya there's nothing special about him.
Ike Broslofski	"Kick the baby!" - Kyle Broslofski Ike's Kyle's little brother (well, kind of) and is kinda like a football on legs. Kyle's favourite game to play with him is "Kick the baby" and he's been involved in a few adventures with the boys, including being abducted by aliens. Ike even has his own episode, called "Ike's Wee Wee", in which Ike has his bris (if you ain't Jewish, watch the episode to see what a bris is - ouch!) and we find out he's adopted. Likes: Dreidels, Kyle, playing. Dislikes: "Kick the baby", being set fire to, his bris, aliens. Often heard saying: "Don't kick the baby!" and other, often incomprehensible, baby talk.
Mr Hankey	"Sometimes he's nutty, sometimes he's corny, he can be brown or greenish brown" - Some guy Yep, Mr Hankey is exactly what he looks like, a piece of poo with a santa hat on. Mr Hankey (the Christmas poo) was originally thought to be Kyle's imaginary friend at Christmas time (being Jewish, Kyle doesn't have Santa Claus) but thanks to Chef, discovered to be as real as anyone else. Me Hankey speaks in a very high, almost nauseatingly cheerful voice, and leaves skid marks everywhere he walks (or rather, bounces - he's got no feet!) Likes: Everything and everyone. Dislikes: Nasty people, fighting. Often heard saying: "Howdy-ho!" and "You sure do smell a lot like flowers!"
Mr Garrison & Mr Hat	"Mr Garrison, may I PLEASE be excused from class?" - Kyle Broslofski These two have to be done together, cos you can't have one without the other. Mr Garrison is the kids' school teacher, and he's a really crap one at that. For instance, according to Mr Garrison, "Christopher Columbus was the Hindus' best friend, and he helped Napoleon win the war against Columbia... and discovered France" - yeah right. Garrison is a seriously disturbed individual, possibly gay, and won't go anywhere without his alter-ego, Mr Hat. Mr Hat is a glove puppet, although Garrison appears to believe he's a real person. Mr Hat appears to be everything Garrison wishes he (Garrison) was, ie. rude, nasty, homicidal, and... supposedly.. gay. Likes: Mr Garrison likes Mr Hat and vice versa. They both like talking crap. Some say they both like guys too, if you know what I mean :) Dislikes: Kathy Lee Gifford, Kyle's Mom (but then who doesn't?). Mr Garrison often heard saying: "Isn't that right Mr Hat?" and "Well spank my ass and call me Charlie!" Mr Hat often heard saying: "That's right, Mr Garrison" and "You go to hell! You go to hell and you DIE!!"

[email protected]