Chickadee, you already know what you should do - lose that drip lickety-split and find yourself another ice cream man. But who? Why, let's take a look at your available options:

First there's Mr. Softee. Hmmm. If you can get past the name, there's still something unwholesome about a loner in a truck surrounded by vanilla ice cream all day long. Too many hygiene uncertainties. Even though he has his own wheels, I'd pass.

Then there's the Good Humor Man. Dependable, classic, safe. And boring. You always know what you're going to get. Kinda like McDonald's in Russia - but, it's still McDonald's.

Next is the TCBY guy, as in, This Can't Be Yogurt. But why settle for yogurt when you really want ice cream? Sounds unsatisfying.

Haagen-Daaz, you say? Nah. That pretty boy-toy is really bad for your thighs.

That leaves the Tastee-Freeze Man. Yeeeooow. Virile, masculine, confident. Loads of stamina. No unnecessary calories. He'd get my vote. Of course, if you're looking for something a bit alternative, you can always sashay over to the Dairy Queen. But if you ask me, you'd be wasting your time.

� tout jamais,