Poems - Ami P. Butler

~ Infinity ~

Laying on a blanket of darkness
struggling with nothingness
wondering which way to turn
and how it got to this.

Taking one step at a time
following a path that leads to nowhere
standing on the edge of emptiness
moving only as close as I dare.

It seems no matter where I turn
I'm still not getting anywhere
as I wade in deeper
the darkness starts to scare.

The silence is getting deafening
I'm nothing less than miserable
as I try to find my way
the darkness is unbearable.

There seems to be no beginning
and definitely no end
I'm smothering inside myself
drowning in this personal hell I'm in.

I reach the edge of nothing
not knowing what will be
taking one final step
as I fall into infinity.........

~ He Says ~

He says he'll never leave me, he says that he's sincere
he tells me that he loves me and to have no fears.

He says it's everlasting and he'll always care
he pleads with me to give my love, if I even dare.

He says he'll always give me whatever I ask for
and that with his love there's never a closed door.

He says he'll always be there no matter what I say
there's nothing I could ever do to make him go away.

He says his love is stronger than the strongest man
he ask me if I love him and if I understand.

He says he wants me with him forever in his life
to share our lives together as husband and as wife.

We're in the ceremony, I'm standing by his side
now the preacher's saying "You may kiss the bride."

He reaches for my hand, our lips begin to touch
I realize how much I love this man and then I wake up.

~ Best Friends ~

Over the years you've always been there

you've helped me when no one else cared.

Through all the things that has gone wrong

our friendship has grown strong.

You always cared through all the tears

and all the laughter throughout the years.

We've been through good times and we've been through sad

but we got through it no matter how bad.

You gave me hope when I thought there was none

we've stayed friends and had a lot of fun.

If I could go back and live my life again

some things might change, but you'd always be my best friend.

~ Life ~

I sit and sometimes wonder what the meaning of life could really mean
or is there really any meaning, and could it go on without me?

Why people fall in love is another question that enters my brain
when everyone should know that they're just setting themselves up
for pain.

Then there is this talk of happiness that I believe is just a state
of mind and do you somehow earn this treasure or is it a state of
mind?

Peace is also something that I believe the world will never see
with so much unneeded hate and violence, I know this will never be.

Why should we have to live in a world with so much suffering
where children go to sleep hungry and you work a forty hour week for
nothing?

With all the confusion of your everyday life
you sometimes loose sight of what's truly important and what you
take in strife.

Dear Mr. Jesus, help me through this day
and be with me in everything I do and everything I say.

Even during bad times I pray I do what's right
no matter what I'm struggling with, please help me with the fight.

I thank you for the good days, when it seems nothing can go wrong
But I pray you'll help me through those days that always seem so long.

Please help me with temptations that I know will come my way
cause I struggle with such different ones as I go from day to day.

I need you, Lord, continuously to help me through my pain
cause I have to take one step at a time or I will go insane.

And also take the sorrow that I'm feeling now inside
and fill me with your joy and happiness in which I always can abide.

I not only thank you for being my Savior but for also being my friend
and there's just one more thing that I must ask before I say "Amen."

I knew that it would happen, Lord, I knew it from the start,
but please help me forgive the boy who went and broke my heart.

You said you didn't love me
after all that we had shared
with everything we'd been through
you still said you didn't care.

And all the nights we spent together
you said they didn't mean a thing
and I was just another girl
and it was just a fling.

All the fun we had together
and all the pain and tears
you seem to have forgotten
when memories were once so dear.

You tell me that it's over
and that you can live with me no more
but you don't see any tears fall
as you walk out that door.

Cause one day you'll come running back
with your apologies and pleads
cause in the end you'll realize
that I'm the one you need.

Apologize, plead, and beg
but there's only one thing I will say
"Better luck next time.....
play and get played!"

Sitting in the silence reminiscing of the past.
Trying to recapture just a single, fragile moment
and forever make it last.

Remembering the happiness that I somehow still attain.
Extending to the darkness
the past pleasures and the pain.

Thinking of all that I once was, and all that I hope to be.
As I sift through all the delicate pieces
of my averted memories.

Grasping each thought for an eternity it seems.
Trying to embrace that ever-present flame
that once illuminated my whole being.

It was Friday night and I was in a rush
I had to meet my friends soon, "Please let me take the car!" I fussed.

I spun out of the driveway and out into the street
a party at Kim's house is where we were all to meet.

My Mom had been very nice giving me the car and no curfew
I was picking up speed as I daydreamed of all we had planned to do.

Being my own boss, I was finally free
rushing to Kim's house in my smooth car for all my friends to see.

I was taking crazy chances and then I heard a crash
all I remember is screaming and lots of broken glass.

When I awakened, a doctor and my mother's tear-strickened face was all that I could see
although they said my body was mangled, I felt no pain and wondered how this could be.

"Yes, that's my daughter," is all my mother said,
then she kissed me softly, turned, and walked away from my bed.

The doctor mumbled something then pulled a sheet over my head
"Hey wait I've got a date tonight, I'm only seventeen, I can't be dead!"

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