KIDS, SIGN MY GUESTBOOK ! ! !
miss mary 
monday 12.12.00
this page needs to be redone. i need to learn a new way of making pretty webpages. i feel like this is so elementary. it's kind of embarrassing.
tuesday 4.11.01
thanks for checking out my lame-o page...
it occurs to me that i should explain a little about myself. when i have the time and the motivation, i desperately need to update and re-vamp this site. it looks ridiculous right now, and to be honest, i'm somewhat ashamed of it. so much of it is inaccurate and out-of-date. but anyway ...
i currently live in new bruns, nj-- hub city, city of broken dreams. i will be graduating from rutgers college in like, 4 weeks or something ridiculous like that. i am currently ranked 19 out of the 2,486 kids in the class of 2001. that makes me feel pretty darned okay. i am attending law school in the fall, but i have no idea where. i've been accepted to a number of very reputable law schools, but none of them are all that enticing to me. and here it is, second week in april, and i still haven't heard a definite word from 4 law schools, 2 of which are my top choices. i applied back in early decemeber in the hopes of avoiding this, but these law schools know everybody wants a spot in their incoming classes, and so i guess they feel they have every right to give people like me the runaround. i'm so sick of being jerked around. for now, my future is terribly undecided, and this makes me nauseous. i would love to be in nyc for the next three years, but in all likelihood, i may be stuck in jersey.
heck, i don't even know where i'm going to be this summer, after graduation. stay home- or stay here in new bruns??? still scrambling to find a decent summer job-- a task made difficult due to the fact that i do not own a car.
so yes, my future hangs in the balance, so to speak. i don't like that. not because i fear change and new beginnings, but because i don't like being unprepared and i don't like that i may have to "settle" for a mediocre (by my standards, anyway) law school in a less-than-desireable city.
so that's my story. part of it, anyway.
four years removed from my home in marlton, nj and i think i've quite a bit to show for it. the impending departure makes me sad. all these friends, a virtual family of sorts, i'm leaving behind...
that and i feel terribly detached and fragmented these days. a post-modern version of myself or something.
more about myself? uh... i'm in a sorority. i'm an indie kid. (two terribly contradictory statements, i know. you can imagine how difficult it must be for me, reconciling two largely irreconcilable worlds on a daily basis. and you can imagine the sort of wardrobe this requires.) friends? plenty. family? the best. i think. boyfriend? currently, it looks like i may be losing that part of my life in the coming days to weeks. other stuff? i run for fun. i love a lot of people. i dunno; look at the page, i guess. even though it's outdated, like i said.
people think i have it all. ha.
i'd give it all up to sing in a (half-decent-to-becoming-very-)decent rock 'n' roll band.
wouldn't everyone, though?
i'm always upset about something. i'm the queen of drama queens. why is that? i seem to treat everything apocalyptically, fatalistically. i'm hoping one day i'll wake up and this will stop happening to me.
my cryptic pseudo-diary to the universe.
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