How To Pick Up Women In The 90s: A Handbook For Men

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INTRODUCTION
Times have changed. The sexual freedom of the 60s and 70s is a bygone
era. The sexuality of the 80s, characterized by the Reagan
administration, saw a general tightening up of morals and a more
conservative approach to the bedroom. Now in the 90s, though things have
loosened up a bit, men are faced with the challenge of dealing with a
new breed of assertive, independent women and the difficulties presented
by the AIDS epidemic. More than ever before an understanding of the
signals, techniques, and language of courtship have become necessary
knowledge for the man who would succeed at picking up and seducing women.

If you are a single man in your 20s or 30s, or perhaps a bit younger, or
recently divorced, this book can make a big difference in your life. Men
who understand the sexual climate of this new era and who are equipped
with the skills to deal with it are best able to relate to women in a
way that is effective and appropriate.

This book is designed to provide you with the knowledge, techniques, and
skills you will need to get the results you desire. Whether you're
looking for a long term romance or a one night stand, How To Pick Up
Women In The 90s: A Handbook For Men will make every facet of meeting,
dating, and seducing women easier and more fun!

The research for this book began with a thorough reading of all the
books about meeting and seducing women available on the market today. I
also read books written especially for women, as well as academic books
written by PhDs. I listened to tapes and watched videos designed to
teach men and women how to flirt, date, and make love. Then I began
interviewing women between the ages of 20 and 35. Each interview was
taped and lasted 30 to 90 minutes. I compiled a voluminous amount of
data which has been condensed into this practical manual for men.

During my research, and especially in my interviews with women, it
became clear to me that women are as interested in having sex with men
as men are with women, but for different reasons. I also found that men
and women are frustrated and aggravated with each other because while
they both want to talk, eat, drink, and sleep together, they are
nevertheless finding it difficult to do so because they are both going
about the process of communication and courtship in a way that the other
either despises or simply doesn't understand. The signals and messages
as well as the very words that men and women use to communicate with one
another are simply not being recognized, let alone understood.

It is my contention that by understanding women better, men can get
better results getting what they want from women. In effect, women will
find relating to men more enjoyable and rewarding because men will be
acting and responding to women in a way that women can appreciate and
understand. This book is being written not only as a guide for men,
instructing men in the art of picking up and seducing the women of their
dreams, but also to build a bridge across the communication gap that
divides men and women. Bridging this gap will empower us to have more
exciting and fulfilling relationships.

As I discussed my ideas for this book with women, I was surprised to
find out how positive, helpful, and encouraging women were in seeing
that I got the right information. Women wanted to see this book written
as much as men. They gave me books on various subjects like gender,
sexuality, feminism, and the latest research in male-female
communication.

Women, I found, are truly more knowledgeable about relationships than
men are. Basically because they are biologically programmed this way.
Women seek 'relationship' to satisfy their need for intimacy. They
empathize with others easily and develop excellent listening skills and
persuasive powers. Men, on the other hand, are programmed to be
'independent.' They satisfy this innate need by conquering new territory
and acquiring power. In their quest for dominance and individuality, men
develop big egos and become more knowledgeable than women in the areas
of status and achievement. Men seek freedom from commitment to maintain
their independence.

The deeper I probed into the needs and concerns of women, the more I
found out about the mistakes men make when relating to women. It became
apparent after as few as 10 interviews that there is a consensus among
women about what men are doing wrong and what it is that women find
attractive about men. I was also able to uncover a plethora of knowledge
which already exists regarding courtship and dating. Evidently, very
little of this knowledge is known by the general public, especially men.


Women as a rule are more knowledgeable in this area, perhaps because so
many women's magazines report on how to meet men, or how to make a man
fall in love with them. It became clear to me finally that many men
don't have a clue to what women are thinking; and men, more often than
not, do not understand the subtleties of women's behavior. Women are
sending messages to men all the time, and men are simply not recognizing
them. Now, with this book as your guide, you no longer have to be one of
those men who constantly misses opportunities or inadvertently ruins his
chances of getting to first base. What you are about to discover is that
picking up women is as easy as it is fun!

Now you may be thinking, "But can it happen to me?" I'm telling you it
can, if you get your head screwed on right. Most men think that their
physical looks and their lack of capital are the biggest reasons why
women find them unattractive. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The way you look, according to women, has more to do with a sense of
style and good grooming than it does with your god-given physical
characteristics. As far as money is concerned, women place that
somewhere in the middle or near the bottom of the list in importance.
What you have to do is become aware of how women think and communicate,
and then make the proper adjustments in your character, to relate to
women in a way that will have them falling in love with you.

If you follow the guidelines in this book, you will no doubt have to
make some changes in your appearance and in your behavior. But, first of
all, you've got to want it. You must make having a woman in your life a
necessity instead of an accessory. In fact, you have to want it so badly
that you'll do what it takes to score. Now, I know you want it. I know
you have fantasies. And I know you can make up all kinds of reasons why
you don't want to do the things you're going to have to do to pick up
and seduce the women of your desire: "I don't want to spend the time."
"It costs too much money." "I don't want a relationship; I want my
freedom." "It takes too much energy." "Why should I have to change!" And
on and on.

But if you're a man, you want it. Don't lie to yourself. Men are
literally programmed to want to have sex with as many women as possible.
It's in your DNA programming! So don't tell yourself that you don't want
it. Don't make up excuses for your fear of rejection, for your past
failures with women, or for your lack of skill in meeting, talking to,
and seducing women. Face yourself and your fears. Be willing to change
and grow. And once you have read this book and you go out into the world
and start using the simple techniques presented here, you're going to
wonder why you've been making approaching and seducing women so
difficult all this time.

Read and study this book and you will learn how to approach the next
beautiful woman you see, how to flirt with her successfully, and how to
turn on the sexual chemistry. You'll learn what to say and when to say
it to get her phone number, to get a date, and to get her into bed.
You'll learn everything you need to know to become an expert at picking
up women in the 90s!

Chapter One
The No. 1 Key To Success With Women

"Learning to use the techniques in this book successfully is going to
take more than a week, and you are going to face setbacks that will test
your mettle along the way. That does not mean, however, that you won't
learn some techniques and new methods that you can use immediately which
will empower you and make picking up women a lot easier and more fun.
Because you will learn a few tips and tricks that you can put to use
right away. I just want you to know at the outset that getting good at
picking up women and then seducing them takes practice, and you're going
to have to face rejection along the way.

Growth is always a painful process. As the saying goes, 'No pain, no
gain.' You are going to have to change and grow to get good at this
game. It's going to be fun, that's why I call it a game, but it's going
to be tough at times too. You see, everyone has limits, and you're going
to have to stretch those limits to expand and grow. Everyone lives in a
box with boundaries that they have created for themselves. And we live
life like these boundaries are real, stationary, and as unmovable as a
cement block wall.

It is comfortable to live this way because then we know what to expect
around every corner and what to think about every person we meet. To
change and grow means to expand past the illusory boundaries we have set
for ourselves and to move and think and act in new unfamiliar territory.
And that's scary. It has to be. Man fears the unknown. But man is also
driven by an even greater force than fear, and that is the desire to
conquer, to overcome fear and the unknown, and thereby grow into new
realms of knowledge and understanding.

So make up your mind right now that you're going to overcome your fears.
You are going to change and grow as a person. You are going to expand
past the limits and boundaries you find comfortable. And you are going
to become the new lady killer on the block. You are going to get good at
this. I will show you how. Now click on the lips at the bottom of the
page and check out some of the other passages.

Chapter Four
The Biggest Mistakes Men Make

While much of what follows is common sense, some of it will probably be
news to you. No doubt about it, every one of us in one way or another is
making a mistake in our interactions with women, and not knowing it is
costing us getting laid. So to increase your odds of scoring with more
women, take heed and stop making the same old mistakes and faux pas that
most men make.

When I asked women, "What are the biggest mistakes men make?" each woman
answered with a list she seemed to have prepared in advance. On each
list was each particular woman's pet peeve. Evidently, women give a lot
of thought to how they wish men would behave. One woman told me that a
test should be given that men should have to pass before they could
begin dating women!

I was surprised to discover that practically every woman I spoke with
was frustrated, if not disgusted, with men's behavior. And the more I
inquired into the biggest mistakes men make, the more a consensus began
to show up. Without a doubt, most men are committing the same errors
over and over and over again.

What follows is a discussion of the most common as well as the biggest
mistakes men make, so you will know WHAT NOT TO DO the next time you're
out picking up women. What is important here is to understand a woman's
point of view. This will clue you in to what you should and should not
do to communicate more effectively to achieve the results you desire.

LEERING AT WOMEN

Many men simply "look" at women the wrong way. Monique explained, "If
someone is obviously looking at my tits or my ass as I walk by, I would
not take them seriously." Men who make this error are already off on the
wrong foot before they have even said a word! If you are seriously
interested in meeting a woman, you will severely handicap yourself with
a look of prurient intent.

The rule to follow is: Look at and appreciate her clothes, her jewelry,
her shoes, her hair and eyes, but don't let her know how much you love
her beautiful body. She wants you appreciate her body, but she doesn't
want you to let on that you do. So be careful how you look at her. Like
Toni said, 'Women don't want to feel like you just want to go to bed
with them. Even if that's what's on your mind, and even if that's what's
on their mind, they like it to be more discreet.'

Chapter Six
The 4 Stages Of Seduction

When you're in the process of picking up a woman that you find
attractive, it is important to be able to read her signals and to follow
the pattern of courtship that has been established for the situation.
Attitudes and methodologies of courtship and seduction change with the
times, the culture, and the age of the participants, but some factors
remain constant.

In this chapter you will get a basic understanding of the courtship
process as it progresses from initial eye contact, to flirting, to
conversation, to touching, to the bedroom. This broad overview will
enable you to see the big picture so that you will more easily
assimilate the details, skills, and advanced techniques of picking up
women presented in later chapters.

The exact process that takes place between a man and a woman that leads
to sexual chemistry, and to the bedroom, can be compared to the latest
dance steps. In order to learn the dance, you will need to be able to
recognize what the steps look like; then you can begin to practice these
steps with partners who are willing.

You also need to recognize that when you dance with a woman, you are
doing the leading. She is going to follow you with certain steps of her
own, but you're responsible for making the moves. Remember, the dance
you are about to learn is based upon scientific research, and it can
happen any where and any time.

Chapter Seven
Non-verbal Communication

Since the moment you woke up this morning you knew you would just die if
you didn't get laid. You've had your eyes peeled all day looking for a
woman, any woman, that might go to bed with you. After the sun goes down
you decide to try your luck at the local singles scene and you pay the
cover to get in. There are numerous women to choose from. But which one
should you approach? You want to cut thorough the small talk, and stop
wasting time with women that won't even let you get to first base. Your
objective is to get results and get them fast.

If there was only a way to spot which women were ready and willing -
which women were already out looking to get picked up! Well, you're in
luck, because there is a way to tell which women are ready and willing
and which would simply be better left alone.

In this chapter you will learn which women to approach, and how to
communicate with them nonverbally. You will also learn how to read a
women's body like a book to determine what she's thinking -- despite
what she may be telling you verbally; as well as how to flirt with women
effectively; and how to spot the ready and willing woman out on the
prowl.

THE POWER OF KNOWING
HOW TO READ BODY LANGUAGE

Whether you know it or not, more than 60% of what you communicate is
non-verbal. So don't ever underestimate the power and importance of body
language. This includes eye contact, facial expressions, hand movements,
your posture, the way you walk, the way you dress, what cologne your
wearing, and how you use the physical space around you. We will discuss
these subjects at more length in a moment.

Body language is so powerful that it is essential you become conscious
of it -- and then use it to your advantage! In this chapter you'll learn
how to read a woman's body like an open book.

Part of the reason why some men are so successful picking up women is
that they know instinctively which women will respond favorably to their
advances. This really isn't an innate talent; it is knowing how to read
a women's body language, you'll increase your overall average of scoring
with women tenfold, and you'll do it in less time, and make fewer
mistakes...
HER BODY LANGUAGE
To interpret and assess what a woman is feeling and saying non-verbally,
take into consideration the whole picture, not just her facial
expressions, but her posture, body movements, other people involved, any
words being spoken, and the situation that is taking place. To read body
language effectively, you must learn to see a series of related gestures
which when combined will tell you what a woman is thinking, how she is
feeling, or what her motives are. These gestures are called gesture
clusters and may occur one after another or all at the same time.
Be sure you observe your subject for a while before you make any
deductions about what her body is saying...Women communicate their
thoughts and feelings readily through their body language. Let's take a
look at open vs. closed body language. A woman with open body language
will be receptive and easy to approach. If she is standing, she will
have her legs apart and her arms at her side. She won't have her hands
in her pockets or behind her back; her hands will be visible as if to
say, 'I have nothing to hide.' She will be relaxed and move her body
fluidly; nothing about her seems stiff or rigid.
If her hands are on her hips, she is ready for action. If she is sitting
down, her arms may be resting on the arms of a chair; or, if she is
interested in something or someone in front of her, she may be leaning
slightly forward. If she is resting her head in her hand, she is
probably bored. But if she places her arm on the back of the chair or
couch and turns her body slightly toward the person next to her, it
means she is interested in that person...

Chapter Eleven
Creating Sexual Chemistry

...Sometimes a pair of long sexy legs walks by and your heart is off to
the races, and sometimes the mere wisp of a woman's perfume will take
your breath away. It's a feeling we all live and die for. Careers have
been abandoned, fortunes have been lost, whole kingdoms have been cast
away for the love of a woman! And while sexual chemistry may not be
love, seldom does love blossom where there is no sexual chemistry.

What is this elusive and powerful force? Why do some people have it and
others don't? Is it beyond our control, or can we control it? In this
chapter you will learn the answers to these questions, as well as how to
use trust and rapport to create sexual chemistry, how to generate sexual
chemistry at will, and what you can do to become irresistible to women.

SEXUAL CHEMISTRY

Many exciting new discoveries have been made recently in the fields of
psychology and linguistics which are enabling us to understand why and
how sexual chemistry works and how to generate it and use it to obtain
what we want from other people -- in this case, women.

Sexual chemistry, as it is used here, is defined as a sexual attraction
between two people. If only one person feels attracted to another, then
there is no chemistry. One person may feel sexually excited or attracted
to someone else, but only when both people feel the same way about each
other is a true chemistry said to exist.

Many women and some men seem to be born with the natural ability to
generate sexual chemistry, and they use it to get what they want; but
for the most part these individuals have little or no control over it.
Once you understand what sexual chemistry is and how it works, however,
you can begin to control it and use it consciously to influence and
arouse the opposite sex.

Your physical appearance, self-esteem, and mental attitude are all
factors in your ability to generate sexual chemistry. So you may have to
invest in a better wardrobe, adjust your thinking patterns, or raise
your self-esteem in order to exude more sex appeal. But the main factor
responsible for your ability to generate sexual chemistry, according to
new scientific findings, comes from the way you communicate with the
opposite sex.

Sexual chemistry is not a function of your age or how good looking you
are, it is a function of your communication skills! This is good new
because it means you can actually learn how to generate sexual chemistry
the same way you can learn how to sell cars or shoes!

What I am about to reveal to you are some of the most advanced
communication techniques ever devised for getting a women to feel like
your are on her wave length. These techniques are so effective that any
woman you pick up will not only be inclined to like you, we may just
think she is falling in love with you.

Women will not know why they are so attracted to you, because these
techniques work their magic on an unconscious level. And when a woman
finds you attractive and you are attracted to her, voila, sexual
chemistry is ignited!

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