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- From Sir KyD (Jan01 00:06):
- little late but hey it's tight
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- THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
- A festive holiday poem
- by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose
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- 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Net,
- There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet.
- The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
- In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
- The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens,
- While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
- My wife on the sofa and me with a snack,
- We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac).
- When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
- I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
- To a new page my Mac flew like a flash,
- Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!!
- I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
- Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
- When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
- My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear.
- When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
- I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
- More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came,
- Then Nick glanced toward my screen, my Mac called them by name;
- "Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel;
- "On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal!
- "Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
- Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!"
- The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,
- Then into my room rose a full hologram!
- He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
- Which were black (the white socks he really should lose).
- He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack.
- Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack!
- His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno!
- This ain't the same Santa that I used to know!
- With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
- Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
- He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke,
- And accessed my C drive with only a stroke.
- He defragged my hard drive, and added a SIMM,
- Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim!
- He worked without noise, his fingers they flew!
- He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo!
- He updated Office, Excel and Quicken,
- Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken!
- My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape,
- As he added the latest version of Netscape.
- The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased,
- St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased.
- Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose,
- Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros!
- He flew back into my screen and through my uplink,
- Back into the net with barely a blink.
- But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight,
- "Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"
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