| Their No. 1 product would be "Microsoft Winders." | |
| Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle. | |
| Occasionally, you'd bring up a window that was covered with a hefty bag and some duct tape. | |
| Instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel", dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Aw-right", "Naw", or "Git." | |
| Instead of "Ta-Dah!", the opening sound would be "Dueling Banjos." | |
| The "Recycle Bin" in Winders95 would be an outhouse. | |
| Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders95 theme song would be "Boot Scootin' Boogie." | |
| Powerpoint would be named "ParPawnt." | |
| Instead of "VP," Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz." | |
| Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am. | |
| Daisy Duke screen saver. | |
| Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator. | |
| Microsoft CEO "Billy-Bob" Gates. | |
| "ParPawnt" would have a "Pond Scum" and a "Junk Yard" presentation template. | |
| One wrong turn while surfing the web would send you face to face with a 12 gauge shotgun. | |
| "This computer protected by Smith and Wesson screen saver. | |
| Directions to Corporate Headquarters - "Down the road a block or so." | |
| Microsoft Word includes a phonetic spell checker "Hookt on fonics werkt 4 me". |