Signs Of Insanity

Here's a somewhat shorter version of the Insantiy signs.
If you can think of any more, send them in!

You Really Need A Vacation When...

1. You start out each morning with a 30-minute jog around the bathroom.
2. You have this uncontrollable fear of fabric softener.
3. You constantly set fire to your neighbor's lawn decorations.
4. Every commercial you hear contains a subliminal messages to "Just Do It".
5. You have meaningful conversations with your toaster. The toaster answers you back.
   The toaster makes perfect sense.
6. Fire hydrants make you feel the need to mark your territory.
7. Everytime the phone rings, you shout, "Hey! Another angel just got its wings!"
8. You like cats. With mayonaisse.
9. You cry at the end of every episode of Gilligan's Island. They weren't rescued.
10. Everyone you see has long green tentacles growing out of their heads.
11. You frequently write long letters to your mom in Spain every week.
    She lives in Washington.
12. You think that exploding wouldn't be so bad, once you got used to it.
13. You put tennis balls in the microwave to see if they'll hatch.
14. You're receiving sub-space messages from alien life forces through your fillings.
15. You've memorized all the warning labels on bug spray cans.
16. You believe that wearing boxer shorts on your head wards off evil dandruff spirits.
17. You agree with everything your Great Grandfather has been telling you.
    He's been dead for 20 years.

I hear banjos twanging off in the distance...