You Know You've Been on the Computer When...

When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.

You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /.
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page.
When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number.

When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your network address faster than your postal one.

When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal.
When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.

When asked about a bus schedule, When your wife says "If you don't turn off that stupid machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the "or else" clause.

Do I do that?. Who? Me?! Well...

Too Cute Not to Share... Place and time: somewhere in the Soviet Union in the 1930s. The phone rings at KGB headquarters. "Hello?" "My neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz is an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his woodshed."

"This will be noted."

The next day, the KGB goons go over to Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no diamonds, swear at Rabinovitz, and leave.

The phone rings at Rabinovitz's house. "Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes." "Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yes, they did." "Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."

Tee hee hee! I've got a shed that needs cleaning. What's their number?