Here We Go With Those Darn Ponderables Again!

How do I set my laser printer on stun? Is a castrated pig disgruntled? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
	If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? How is it possible to have a civil war? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
	What happens when none of your bees wax? Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket? Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids"? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
	Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?"
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

Keep Going... ...There's More

 

Ain't Computers Grand?

Home is where you hang your @
The E-mail of the species is more deadly than the mail.
A journey of a thousand sites begins with a single click.

You can't teach a new mouse old clicks.
Great groups from little icons grow.
Speak softly and carry a cellular phone.

C:\ is the root of all directories.
Don't put all your hypes in one home page.
Pentium wise; pen and paper foolish.

The modem is the message.
Too many clicks spoil the browse.
The geek shall inherit the earth.

A chat has nine lives.
Don't byte off more than you can view.
Fax is stranger than fiction.

What boots up must come down.
Windows will never cease.
In Gates we trust (and our tender is legal).

Virtual reality is its own reward.
Modulation in all things.
A user and his leisure time are soon parted.

There's no place like http://www.home.com.
Know what to expect before you connect.
Oh, what a tangled website we weave when first we practice Speed thrills.

AND...

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
Teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

                                       

Sigh. How I love being connected!