Munchie Madness

On Microsoft Building Cars

Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.
Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this and drive on.
Occasionally, your car would stop and fail to restart and you'd have to reinstall the engine. For some strange reason you'd just accept this too.
You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a Car95 or a CarNT. But then you'd have to buy more seats.
Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as fast, twice as easy to drive -- but would only run on 5% of the roads.
The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower.
The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light with the message: "this vehicle has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down."
New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
The airbag system would say, " Are you sure?" before going off.
If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened.

Computer Definitions

486:
The average IQ needed to understand a P.C.
State-of-the-art:
Any computer you can't afford.
Obsolete:
Any computer you own.
Microsecond:
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become
obsolete.
Syntax Error:
Hi, I want to buy a computer. Money is no object.
GUI (gooey):
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it.
Computer Chip:
Any starchy food stuff consumed in mass quantities while programming.
Keyboard:
The standard way to generate computer errors.
Mouse:
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.
Floppy:
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.
Hard Drive:
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen.
Portable Computer:
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation
and on business trips.
Disk Crash:
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.
Power User:
Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.
System Update:
A quick method of trashing all of your software.

Imagine, a computer that doesn't crash! Imagine that!