Why I Didn't Make it in to Work Today
Try a few of these excuses out the next time you feel like staying home.
- If it is all the same to you I won't be coming in to work
- The Voices told me to clean all the guns today
- I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy
- I'm stalking my previous boss
- I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the supermarket
- I just found out that I was switched at birth
- Constipation has made me a walking time bomb
- The dog ate my car keys
- My wife makes more money than I do, so I gotta stay at home with our sick kid
- I'm not traveling to the District until there is a commuter tax . I insist on paying my fair share.
And now for the grand finale... two of the best excuses yet! My mother-in-law has come back as one of the Bloodsucking Undead. I've got to locate her coffin and drive a stake through her heart so I can have eternal peace.
Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey, how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you?
If you have any more "useful" excuses, sent them in!