These are just too cute
Q: Where do you find elephants?
A: It depends on where you lost them.
Q: Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A: Because the white ones get dirty too fast.
Q: Why do elephants live in herds?
A: To get a wholesale reduction on the blue tennis shoes.
Q: Why do elephants float on their backs?
A: So they don't get their tennis shoes wet.
Q: What goes clomp,clomp,clomp, squish ,clomp,clomp,clomp, swish..?
A: An elephant with a wet tennis shoe!
Q: How many elephants can you fit in a taxi?
A: Four. One next to the driver and 3 in back.
Q: How many giraffes can you fit in a taxi?
A: None, it's full of elephants.
Q: What sport do elephants play in a taxi?
A: Squash.
Q: How do you know when an elephant is visiting your house?
A: There's a taxi outside with three elephants in it.
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A: Open door, put elephant in, close door.
Q: How do you put a giraffe into refrigerator?
A: Open door, get elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Q: How can you tell when there's been an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Footprints in the butter.
Q: How can you tell when there is an elephant in your refrigerator?
A: Blue tennis shoes are left outside.
Q: How can you tell when there are two elephants in you refrigerator?
A: It's rather hard to close the door.
Q:How can you tell when there've been four elephants in your refrigerator?
A:There's a taxi waiting outside.
Q: Why are there so many elephants running around free in the jungle?
A: Fridge is not large enough to hold them all.
Q: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun?
A: Sir.
Q: What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you.
Q: Why do elephants drink so much?
A: To try to forget.
Q: What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!
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Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmellow?
A: So she wouldn't fall in the hot chocolate.
Q: How do you know if you pass an elephant?
A: You can't get the toilet seat down.
Q: How do elephants get up into oak trees?
A: They sit on an acorn and wait.
Q: How do elephants get down from oak trees?
A: They sit on a leaf and wait for autumn.
Q: Why are crocodiles long, thin, and flat?
A: They walk under trees in Autumn.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: From jumping out of oak trees - they're impatient!
Q: Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes?
A: To soften their landing when they jump out of oak trees.
Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?
A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It was glued to the first one.
Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?
A: It thought it was a game.
Q: And why did the tree fall down?
A: It thought it was an elephant.
Q: Why shouldn't you go into the woods at 5 o'clock?
A: Because that is when the elephants do their parachute jumping.
Q: What is a furry alligator?
A: A bear that went into the woods at 5 o'clock.
Q: Why are the pygmies so small?
A: They can't tell time!
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Q: Why are elephants feet shaped that way?
A: To fit on lily pads.
Q: Why isn't it safe to go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the
afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are walking on the lily pads.
Q: Why are frogs so short?
A: They go onto the lily pads between 4 and 6 in the afternoon.
Q: What happens when an elephant sits in front of you at the movies?
A: You miss most of the picture!
Q: What kind of elephants live at the North Pole?
A: Cold ones.
Q: What is convenient and weighs 20,000 pounds?
A: An elephant six-pack.
Q: Why do elephants have cracks between their toes?
A: For carrying their library cards.
Q: Why do elephants have wrinkled knees?
A: From playing marbles...
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
A: Bloody great holes all over Australia.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a whale?
A: A submarine with built-in snorkel.
Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?
A: Elephino.
Q: What's the gook between elephant's toenails?
A: Slow natives.
Q: How can you tell when an elephant is getting ready to charge?
A: He asks if you accept Visa.
Q: What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
A: Time to get a new fence.
Q: Why won't they allow elephants in public swimming pools?
A: Because they might let down their trunks.
Q: Why do elephants travel in herds?
A: Because if they traveled in flocks they might be mistaken for sheep.
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Q: What looks like an elephant and flies?
A: A flying elephant.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant?
A: Grapes are purple.
Q: How can you tell the difference between a grape and an elephant if
you're color
blind?
A: Dance on it for awhile. If you don't get any wine, it's an elephant.
Q: What did the grape say when the elephants stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine.
Time's up. Back to work...