Can't get enough of those elephants...
A: "Look, there's elephants coming over the hill."
Q: What did he say when he saw elephants with sunglasses on, coming over
the
hill?
A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
Q: What did Hannibal say when he saw giraffes with sunglasses on coming
over the
hill?
A: "Haha! You fooled me once with those disguises, but not this time!"
Q: What did the elephants say when they saw Hannibal coming over the hill?
A: Nothing, elephants can't talk.
Q: What did Charles de Gaulle say when he saw three elephants in sunglasses
coming down the path?
A: Voila les elephants.
Q: What did Jane say when she saw the elephants over the hill?
A: "Here comes a bunch of grapes over the hill". (She was colourblind)
Q: What is the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
A: About three thousand miles.
Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a mailbox?
A: You don't know? I'll never give you a letter to post!
Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper?
A: You can't make a paper airplane out of an elephant.
Q: Why do ducks have flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have flat feet?
A: To stamp out burning ducks!!
Q: Why do giraffes have long necks?
A: To spit on burning elephants!!
Q: What's grey and puts out forest fires?
A: Smokey the Elephant.
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Q: Why do elephants wear small green hats?
A: So they can sneak across pool tables unobserved.
Q: Why do elephants wear green nail polish?
A: So they can hide in a pea patch.
Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red, green and orange?
A: So they can hide in smartie boxes.
Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work then.
Q: By the way, what is the black triangle sticking out of the custard?
A: It's a shark. That's why the elephants hide...
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant in the pub?
A: It's bike is outside.
Q: How do you know if there are two elephants in the pub?
A: There is a dent in the cross-bar.
Q: How do you know if there are three elephants in the pub?
A: Stand on the bike and have a look in the window.
Q: What is more difficult than getting an elephant into the back seat
of your car?
A: Getting two elephants into the back seat of your car!
Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant?
A: With a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a red elephant?
A: No, not with a red elephant gun. You strangle him until he turns blue,
and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a green elephant?
A: Tell him a dirty joke so he turns red, strangle him until he turns blue,
and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun.
Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant?
A: There are no yellow elephants.
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Q: What do you get if you take an elephant into work?
A: Sole use of the elevator.
Q: How do you know if there is an elephant under the bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: How do you run over an elephant?
A: Climb up it's tail, dash to it's head and slide down its trunk.
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Q: What sound you get when you drop an elephant down a mineshaft?
A: A-flat minor.
Q: What sound do you get when you drop an elephant into an army camp?
A: A-flat major.
Q: How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't be stupid, elephants can't change light bulbs.
Q: What is grey and lights up?
A: An electric elephant.
Q: What is grey, has big ears, and a trunk?
A: A mouse going on holidays!
Q: How do you stop a herd of elephants from charging?
A: Take away their credit-cards.
Q: Why do elephants need trunks?
A: Because they don't have glove compartments.
Q: Why do elephants have trunks?
A: Because they'd look silly carrying suitcases.
Q: What's grey, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: An elephant going on vacation.
Q: What's brown, has four legs, and a trunk?
A: The same elephant, coming back from vacation.
Q: Why do elephants lay on their backs?
A: To trip low flying canaries.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken's day off.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: To pick up the squashed chicken.
Q: How does an elephant get out of a phone booth?
A: The same way he got in.
Q: Why do elephants have wrinkles?
A: Ever tried to iron an elephant?
Q: How do you get an elephant into a matchbox?
A: Take out all the matches first.
Q: What does an elephant smell like before he takes a shower?
A: An elephant.
Q: What does an elephant smell like after he takes a shower?
A: A wet elephant.
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Q: What do you call elephants who ride on trains?
A: Passengers.
Q: Where do baby elephants come from?
A: Big storks.
Q: What's grey on the inside and pink and white on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is grey and not there.
A: No elephants.
Q: Why are elephants large, grey and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white and smooth they'd be aspirins.
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
| Okay, so I'm partial to Elephant Jokes.... Beware, the next page is more of the same. Last one, promise |  |