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Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What kind of clothes do lawyers wear in court?
Lawsuits.
Q: How many divorced Men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Who knows they never get the house.
Q: What's the difference between Outlaws and In-laws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.
A grandmother recieve this note from her 13-year-old grandaughter:
"Thanks for the check. I will use it to buy things my parents say are a waste of money."
Q.How many Microsoft Engineers does it take to replace a light bulb?
A.None.They declare darkness as a new world standard.
What do you do if your wife has a fit in the Bath?
Put the dishes in!
Q:What do you call a fly with no wings?
A: A walk.


Five reasons computers must be female...
  1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
  2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
  3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
  4. The message, "Bad command or filename", is about as informative as "if you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you".
  5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
And Now, A Word ABout The Light Bulb
Q. How many MIS guys does it take to change a light bulb?
A. MIS has received your request concerning your hardware problem, and has assigned your request Service Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this light bulb issue. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.
Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That's a software problem.
Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Thats a hardware problem.
Q. How many Windows users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. One, but s/he'll swear up and down that it was JUST as easy
    for him as it would be for a Macintosh user.
Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?     A: None. It turned itself in.
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?     A: How many can you afford?
Q: How many Federal employees does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Sorry, that item has been cut from the budget!
Q: How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: What kind of answer did you have in mind?
Q: How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
Until next time....
Have the greatest of days
Don't forget to laugh a little.