Mel is the eighth member of the magnificent seven, the cowboy who when told "Go West my son." ended
up in Newquay. Trading in his mule for a bicycle, his shot of whiskey for a pint of Bombardier and
the Wild West for Reading his unmistakable figure can always be spotted striding down the well worn track
every year, event though he swears "I'm not commin' back next year". Famous for being one of the most quotable
Piddintonians of all time (you begin to wonder if he spends the rest of the year composing
sound bites for those two precious weeks), the obsession with Sesame Street puppets can probably be attributed to
his "Once you take out Bert and Ernie the whole of Sesame Street goes down."
Never been a member of an organised boys group ("I've never been in the Scouts but I've been in a lot of Girl Guides"). There was an unsubstantiated rumour that Mel only wore his hat to disguise the fact that he was Marge Simpson. This has been universally debunked due to the impossibility of a two dimensional cartoon character ever being able to dye its hair blue and spend 50 weeks of the year living with a fat slob. More likely that somewhere in his dim and distant ancestry a bit of Klingon (probably trade marked) blood made it into his lineage revealed when he announced "Today is a pants day to dig." Pants appear to play a large part in his life : "The world is my pants" - does not bear close analysis while "My pants are dribbling over Hilary's tent." leaves an image in the mind that really has no right to be there. A final word or two of advice from the Outlaw : "You twirl it arround, slap it down and draw it backwards in a wet wiggly waggly motion."