WASSIES    COLUMN!

            Hello to everybody that is insane enough to read my column. In my column I will discuss topics that have interested me, or scared me in recent times. One particular incident was when JB and myself were traveling on a train to go to a press confrence to talk to the public about why we discarded our old sponsor, Playboy, cause the public quite liked the playboy adds we included in our mag. We introduced our new sponsors, heading the list was KFC and the ACB. Anyway, while on the train, a strange looking man walked up to us and sat across from JB. He kept mumbling "The worlds gonna end, the world's gonna end!" We didn't take any notice of him, but then he turned to us and stared telling us his life story and how the world is gonna end. He told us his birthdate, where he was born, where he lives, the footy team he barracked for, what sort he had, and how many cookies he ate that morning! That experience was probably the weirdest of my life.

             I go to Wantirna secondary school and there is always something exciting going on there. Fights are always great. Usually, not many people would know that a fight is occuring but there is one sure way of knowing when a fight is on. On the average day, the teachers would walk around normally (slowly), but you know there is a fight when you see about a 100 teachers running out to the oval. In our school there are about 98.625 teachers that speak english so it is always great fun to swear at and bag the teachers cause they don't know what you're saying, all they say is " Don't worry Wozzie, is OK "

             I would like to leave you with a few jokes about and old friend of mine, who i trust compleatly, and is always a 100% honest:        BILL CLINTON!!!!!!

1

Once Bill Clinton visited a elementary school to talk to a group of 3rd graders. He said to them, "Today we are going to discuss the difference between a tragedy, a great loss and an accident". Then he said, "Can anyone give me an example of a tragedy?" A little boy raises his hand and says, "If a kid runs out in the street after a ball and gets hit by a car." Clinton says, "No, that would be an accident. Can anyone else try?" A little girl raises her hand and says, "If a busload of kids drove off a cliff." Clinton says, "No, that would be a great loss. Come on, anyone else?" A boy raises his hand and says and says, "If you and Mrs. Clinton was on a plane and it blew up." Then Clinton says, "Well, Yes, but can you tell me why it would be considered a tragedy?" And the little boy says, "Well, it wouldn't have been an accident, and it sure as heck wouldn't have been a great loss."

2

What is Bill's idea of safe sex? When Hillary is out of town.

3

The country seems to be doing pretty good -- everybody's got a job, money is up, lot of houses. How many people care that the President's having sex? Does it bother anybody? See, that's basically the difference between the Republicans and the Democrats . The Republicans are after your money, the Democrats are after your sister.

*We apoligyse to the readers for making them dumber after reading this*