What women say...                  ...What they mean...
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Can't we just be friends?          There is no way in hell I am going
                                   to let any part of your body touch
                                   any part of mine, again.

I just need some space              ...without you in it

Can you help me with my homework?  If I keep whining, the fool will do
                                   it for me.

Do I look fat in this dress?       We haven't had a fight in a while

No, pizza's fine                   Cheap bastard

I just do not want a boyfriend now  I just do not want (you as a) boy-
                                    friend now

I don't know; what do you want to   I can't believe that you have
do?                                 nothing planned

Come here                           My puppy does this too

I like you but...                   I don't like you

You never listen                    You never listen

We're moving too quickly            I am not going to sleep with you
                                    until I find out if this guy in Bio
                                    has a girlfriend

I'll be ready in a minute           I AM ready, but I am going to make
                                    you wait because I know you will.

Oh, no, I will pay for myself       I am just being nice; there is no
                                    way I am going dutch

Oh Yes! Right there                 Well, near there; I just want to get
                                    this over with

I'm just going out with the girls   We are gonna get sloppy and make 
                                    fun of you and your freinds

There's no one else                 I am doing your brother

Size doesn't count...               unless I want an orgasm