Where can I Start? There are so many places, times even days, where I can start from.- However, The Start is just as important as The End. They run hand in hand. - Just as Nicola and I do.

    First I'll tell you a little about me. - I dont even remember how I got to the nineMSN chat server in the first place. But, to this day I'm glad I did. I started off as just a restless chatter, as we all do. - The power of not being known is wanted. Once I got over this stage, I joined the nineMsn hosting team. Later, as my life was going on, I was geting less and less interested in life, - yes, at one stage I thought of ending it (now I'm glad I never ever did).
    I met a person one day from the nineMSN hosting staff, who I automatically had a unique connection with. This person was Nicola (^SiLiY^ at the time). I was Curious as to what this unique female was like, herself. Gradually we grew closer with nineMSn as our hang out.

    We both hit a rough time. - I got fired from nineMSN and we both went through pretty tough times with family and with breakups. The thing that kept my life running was my friendship with this lovely woman. It was like my grasp on reality and on life itself. It was always an unbelievable amount of support I got from this woman. She was loving, caring, compassionate, and most of all she was there when I needed her. I grew to really like Nicola. God forbid, I could not work up the guts to admit this infactuation with her. Anytime I was online, I would automatically focus on her name on ICQ or on nineMSN. I joined rooms even if I didn't like the room, just to be there with her. - I even changed my name so that it was closer to hers on the list.

    This new found passion for life was striving off the attention and moments I shared with Nicola. We started to play chess together. I was unaware that this was a type of dating online for us. - It brought us closer. And we had many late night discussions admitting all the things our deepest secrets  tried to hide. We were not afraid to talk to each other openly. - Except for the simple fact that we both were unbelievably attracted to each others personality, more than just our looks. We had not met, and yet the love we shared was growing more than she grows in a month (3 INCHES!!).

    Soon I was going on holidays down the South Coast. I wanted to tell Nicola about my love for her, but my guts didn't agree with me each time I entered the text then deleted it without sending it. I wanted this to be so much, - I would've gioven anything to tell her without fearing the rejection. Surely I thought that this perfect and beautiful woman could find better than me.

    It puzzled me, as to what I could do to impress this beautiful woman. I really only play cricket and soccer. - Except then I learned she always wanted a soccer player as a boyfriend, which made me jump in my chair! LOL. I did practically anything I could to alert her attention and to talk to her. It was rather amusing at some stages. It was love. And it still is love - But now it's a stronger love.

    It seemed to me that some sort of fate had brought us together, because every time something would go wrong, we would be there for each other. - Always lending our shoulder to lean on, and our ears to listen. It was the most perfect friendship a male and female, who had never met before, could have. Eventually, this online friendship lead to telephone calls. - Whoa!! Here comes the big bucks on STD!! But to me, Nicola was worth every penny of it! She is worth spending a million dollars on just to take her out for a day. But I sensed in myself, and sort of in Nicola, that our relationship as friends was not quite complete. We both had the "Magic" in ourselves to become much closer in spirit and in heart, so I tried and tried and tried to tell her how much she meant to me. But I just, for some reason, couldn't do it! I believe now, that it just was not the time. Destiny would bring us together, because I had a feeling. - I could feel us becoming closer. Yet I did not know how much closer.

    A few days before I went away, she told me how she felt - I sat at the computer reading over the E-mail she had sent me to express herself. I read it over and over and over before I finally realised the last piece of the puzzle to my life was showing itself to me on the table, saying, "I'm right here! Take me now!" And of course, I replied to the puzzle with a, "Thankyou for this moment". I sent a message back explaining how much I could not bear to hide my feelings for her any longer and that I felt exactly the same way about her, as she did to me. I still believe to this day, something shined upon my soul that day, someone up above wanted me to have a great life.- Nicola is my life. She is everything that I have. This will never change in my opinion. She has been the creator of my life, she has taught me so many lessons I could never have learnt. She's taught me to love, to live, and mostly to learn. Shes 100%, no doubt about it! She made my life of a better living quality. I cannot describe the amount of confidence I've gained just from having Nicola in My life. It is beyond belief to the average person, who does not know of our relationship.

    It has been 9 months and 1 day (as of 8/10/99) since that perfect day. - And not a day goes by without a thought of Nicola in my mind. She has always been there for me, and will always be there. She's my angel in my life. She guides me through the good times and the bad. And there has been many more good times than bad, which is what every relationship should focus on - The good times. As surely in love, the good times are worth the bad.

    Recently, my Grandfather was diagnosed with Cancer, 3 weeks ago, and died 9 days ago (On Friday 24th September). As you can tell, it was a big shock to us all, if you look at the time spand. This of all was the hardest of times for my family and I, but Nicola stood by me with no fear at all. She was always there holding my hand, dragging me higher, and higher. She was not going to let go, and neither was I.

    We have seen each other many, many times in our 9 months of going out. - Considering we live 3 hours apart. It will not kill us, distance is yet a mere obstacle. Our love is the solution to this obstacle. Our love in the end is the winner. We are the winners, because of this love. It has changed our lives equally for the better and we are both happier people in ourselves, and have the confidence and ability to do things we never imagined. New horizions is a term commonly used... Well, our horizon is love.

    Without Nicola, I don't know where I would be right now. - Probably dead. As scary as that seems, that is a possiblity, as I mentioned above. The end is just as important as the finish, and Nicola and I will be there for the end, together. I believe and I know, because Nicola and I run hand in hand... We live together as one in each others' hearts, And forever we will be...

Scott.