WAYS TO TELL IF YOU ARE TOO OBSESSED WITH PEARL JAM
    (WHICH IS NOT A BAD THING BY THE WAY!!!)


1. You try to find Pearl Jam quotes to suit every occasion
2. You don't understand why everyone looks at you blankly
   when you put these quotes to use
3. You name your pet after a member of Pearl Jam 
   (I used to have a cat named Stone...)
4. You name your child after a member of Pearl Jam
5. You name your child after a song by Pearl Jam 
   ("Oh, honey, isn't little Animal sweet?")
6. You regularly kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight
7. You regularly French-kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight
8. You regularly French-kiss your Eddie Vedder poster goodnight...
   and you're a straight man
9. You regularly do things to your Eddie Vedder poster that
   aren't legal in Utah
10. You get a tattoo of the little "Alive" stickman
11. You get a tattoo of the "No Code" symbol
12. You get a tattoo of Eddie's face
13. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums
14. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums, singles,
    and demos
15. You boast that you have all of Pearl Jam's albums, singles,
    demos, t-shirts, and bootlegs of every concert they've ever
    played
16. You refer to Eddie as "the Great One"
17. You've placed voodoo curses on everyone who works for 
    or is in any way connected to Rolling Stone
18. You talk about "the boys" as if you actually know them
19. One cannot walk into your room without seeing dozens, if
    not scores, of items of Pearl Jam memorabilia - CDs, posters,
    stickers, t-shirts, calenders, books, tickets from past
    shows, drawings, comic books, magazine covers, newspaper 
    clippings... 
20. One cannot walk into your room without stumbling over your
    "shrine to Vedder"
21. You're an artist and wish there was an "Ames School of
    Fine Art"
22. You volunteer for charities Pearl Jam contribute to in
    the hopes of meeting them in person
23. You dressed as Eddie for Halloween
24. You turn up the volume, dance, sing along, etc. every 
    time a Pearl Jam song comes on the radio, even though
    you've heard them all at least a thousand times
25. You listen to the Frogs, Hovercraft, and the Fastbacks,
    even though you secretly hate them, just to "listen to
    what *he* likes"
26. You listen to Mother Love Bone, even though you secretly
    hate them (did Andrew Wood try too hard to sound like
    Steven Tyler or what?), because Stone and Jeff were in
    that band
27. You've memorized all of the lyrics to Pearl Jam's songs,
    and quote from them freely
28. Your e-mail address has some kind of Pearl Jam reference,
    such as "[email protected]", "[email protected]"
    or "[email protected]"
29. You have a Pearl Jam shirt for every day of the week
30. Your nickname is "P.J." even though your name is Ralph