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Ok...these are some of the people i've met on EL's ref....and stuff about em (that i thunked up all by myself)
TURN ONS 1.breathing 2. food 3. sex with whats his name.....errr......biff, yea..thats his name TURN OFFS 1. forgetting to breathe 2. no food 3. dead batteries
TURN ONS 1. finding dads playboys 2. looking through the hole in the bathroom wall TURN OFFS 1. mom finding dads playboys
WARTHAWG : born in 1899, this man has done it all. From being the first person in his family to walk upright, to serving through 2 world wars in the US Army (german prisoner #1544789 WW1, and german prisoner #542769967 WW2). He holds the Army's record for latrine digging (540001 latrines in 40 yrs) and still has the original rifle issued to him in 1916.(its for sale...only dropped twice...never fired) He is the proud father of Miles Lunette, conceived in 1947, at a drunken orgy in miami florida. TURN ONS 1. women with walkers 2. women in wheelchairs TURN OFFS 1. mobile women 2. getting shot at
Ruthie :born in 1967 as Money Penny Splatzagigawitcz, she starred with several "James Bonds" in the hit movie series by Iam Flemming. After she left that movies series, she landed a job with a terrorist group. But that career ended early when she left out a key word in her orders and made a bus load of happily drained friends instead of a busload of victims.{note: orders were to blow UP a bus, not blow a bus, full of politicians} It was during the bus episode that she met the love of her life, Mr Ratchet Glugg, an illiterate dyslexic ex-circus clown turned bus driver from Gluggdon. TURN ONS 1. Mr Gluggs massive appendage 2. Mr Gluggs extra long tongue TURN OFFS 1. Politicians that dont let her finish
GAZ : born in 1944 as Ratchet Glugg, he led an exciting life in high school due to his "over endowment", and would have graduated high school if he hadn't missed the entire 12th grade, looking for 21st grade classrooms.{NOTE : he's slightly dyslexic} He joined the circus after high school, first as a "3 legged man" and later was promoted to clown. He left the circus {after making the elephants feel sexually inferior} and ended up driving a bus for "Target Bus lines". It was here that he met Miss Splatzagigawitcz, asked her to dye her hair blonde, and then marry him. She happily accepted the offer for a shorter last name. TURN ONS 1. Mrs Gluggs wide posterior 2. large circus animals TURN OFFS 1. Women that say "ouch"
TURN ONS 1. Alta's nose 2. Noses almost as big as alta's nose TURN OFFS 1. People that sleep face down
TURN ONS 1. Free beer 2. Free beer TURN OFFS 3. No-free beer
TURN ONS 1. "Ass Gaskets" (disposable toilet seat covers) TURN OFFS 2. Intelligent men
TURN ONS 1. Skinny men with groceries 2. half-eaten burritos TURN OFFS 1. Spetznaz commando's with no c-rations
TURN ONS 1. Plastic paperclips 2. Dixie cups 3. Ren and Stimpy cartoons TURN OFFS 1. Popcorn in my teeth
TURN ONS 1. Young men in tight jeans in old pickup trucks with gunracks 2. My supercharged Moped "Mustang" TURN OFFS 1. Men that ask me to stand up 2. Men that wont stand up
TURN ONS 1. Dykes 2. Square holes in dykes 3. Epsom salts TURN OFFS 1. The relatively low thermal efficiency of modern nuclear power plants. 2. turn signals that wont shut off after the turn.
TURN ONS 1. Men with tattoos 2. Men without tattoos TURN OFFS 1. Men that think of me as just a pretty face 2. Kernal 32 errors
TURN ONS 1. Big crawdads 2. Studying english 3. Giving directions to city folk TURN OFFS 1. Using silverware 2. Bathrooms without catologs TURN ONS 1. Watching men watching me stretch 2. Men with thin skin TURN OFFS 1. Men without shower cams
TURN ONS 1. Men 2. Men with stamina TURN OFFS 1. Short men 2. Dead bugs on her windshield
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Suz
: born in 1967, this nice lady chats when she can in els ref during the days and evenings.
Sus lives in Yugoslavia with her husband (Biff Nisefello) and 12 children (Angel,
Blessing, Little Biff, Ooops, Ooops2, Ooops3, Neveragain, Littlepostman, Littlemeterman,
Littlecensus, Little Biff2, and Sleptinthepark) -[NOTE:Yugoslavians name their children
immediately after conception] . She raises Corinthian warthogs for the Fuloquacks
Medical Center. [-NOTE: This medical center specializes in the transplantation of warts
from animals to aging Italian women]
Ah-clem:
born in 1964, this fine gentleman lives at home with his parents (Starman and Moonchild).
When he's not delivering newspapers on his 5-speed bicycle, he can be found relearning his
ABC's at the sylvan learning center (his goal is to complete 6th grade by 1999), shaking
down his fellow students for lunchmoney, or playing in EL's Ref.
Pa_Couple : Created
in 1906, this mythical creature has another name..."The Booger Fairy". He
travels the nighttime darkness, sneaking into bedrooms, scaring small animals, and armed
with tweezers and an unshaking hand, he fills the noses of young and old alike. You may
have wondered how that stuff gets in your nose.....now ya know! He is thought to have
married the "Morning Breath Fairy" in 1974. But this is only speculation as
noone has ever seen her in his vid.
Debo : born in
1986 in Deadbug, Mississippi....this party animal never stops. She can be seen riding down
Rabidskunk road on her Pink Bigwheel most days. In the evenings, she can be found at the
local liquor store doing handstands for beers. She practices her karate moves (eye gouges
and groin kicks) on her kid brother "the lurker". She can be seen in EL's ref
any evening her parents go out. Her favorite time is with her brother,a 6-pack, and a bug
zapper.
D..... : born in
1974 (the proud mother of Debo) in Flackywench, Canada. Married to Richard Cranium (great
grandson of M.T. Cranium, the toilet seat baron) in the first marriage OUTSIDE of the
family since 1848. She drives a pumice green pacer with the tags "EZRIDER". She
has 3 sons (by her older brothers) and 1 daughter ( by Richard). She currently works as
"inspector #13" at the ACME Plunger company. 
POLARBEAR :
born in 1980, this lovely young lady is the last of Czar Nicholas's heirs. As her
grandmother and mother before her, she is forced to live in hiding(in a cave under what is
now "Macy's department store" in Bulgeria) due to multiple attempts on their
lives by the communist government of russia. If not for her inherited quick wit and thighs
that can crush bowling balls, she would have perished many years ago. She is usually on
EL's ref during the day(awaiting word from her loyal subjects that the time is ripe for a
coup)...and scavenges for food at night (this explains her white skin and catlike eyes).
ASAILIN :
born in 1949 in FourClover Falls Kansas as "Preppy Reno". He spends his days,
conducting boardmeetings for the top 5% of the fortune 500 companies, modeling
suits for Brooks Brothers and Armoni, and racing his 284 foot sailing yacht. In the
evenings, he dances for Chippendales, or blesses the people chatting in EL's ref with his
presence. His ex-wife found fame as the current attorney-general for our country (JANET
RENO).
DAMIE
: Born in 1980, this lady leads a life we can only envy. Damie is a cucumber rancher. She
wakes up at the crack of dawn, eats a good breakfast of grits and scrapple, saddles up her
Moped "MUSTANG", and and heads out to "round em up"! October through
january are the busy months for cuke ranchers....lassoing....wrestling to the ground..and
branding."If ya'll come across a wounded cuke, circle to the right, they dont see
well outta the right eye"-wise words from a real cuke rancher! 
LADY
: Born the Queen of Holland in 1972, this regal lady can be seen in Els Ref during the
days, sitting on her throne, sipping anything with an umbrella, and gracing the peasants
with her Royal presence. She instituted a national movement to save the country from
flooding, called "Stick your finger in a dyke for me". In addition to being a
member of the royal family, she also has world recognition as the human with the most
corns on one foot, and the only human to ever wear out 3 toenail clippers in one day.
DAFFI
: Originally thought to be a myth, this legend of the internet dazzles
CU'ers with her shapely gams and multiple refware outfits. Her age is unknown, but she was
thought to be the inspiration for "The Headless Horseman of Sleepy Hollow". She
had a well paying job as a hat model but had to give that up, following her decapitation
in 1994 in a horrible harddisk failure. She wont show her face as she hasnt found her head
yet. She found and married "thumper", one of the few men not interested in
"head", in 1990. [NOTE: the above picture shows daffi ensuring
she hasnt lost her legs] {for a pic of daffi's face.....click 
Teddyb/Gem
: Married in 1977, this wacky couple lives in a 12 bedroom shack on the
lousianna bayou. Just last year they upgraded the indoor plumbing to
2 mason jars. When they are not on EL's Ref, they can be found sailing the family's 37
foot rowboat. TeddyB is a world champion crawdad wrestler and Gem is a model for the local
magazine, "Jed's Burlap Nighties"
TxsAngel
: Born in 1946, in Laidback, Texas. This is easily the cleanest lady in the known
world. She has been known to take 3 showers in a 4 hour period. Her chosen
profession is Cadaver Spleen Removal Specialist. When shes not gracing the EL's ref
regulars with her image, she can be found gnawing through flesh at the local morgues. Her
ability to remove spleens without tools, was responsible for giving Jeffery Dalhmer (her
first husband) his idea's on culinary delights. The rumor mill say TxsAngel is really
Daffi's little sister. [NOTE: the above picture shows TxsAngel lounging on a rug, made
from hairy old men scalps]
Bunny
: born in 1983, in Spreadeagle,
Mississippi. This is the only pic of bunny ever taken with clothes
on. She works at a "clothing optional" resort just outside of the
city limits. Bunny is in charge of measuring the male guests for the stats book. She
married the current record holder, "Bill Tripod" in 1997, and has 2 wonderful
children named " Fluffy and Hopper". While her husband is resting up, she
spends her time chatting with friends in ELs Ref.