[There’s something about the holidays that bring out the best in me. I never feel better at anytime of the year than I do at Christmas, well except for Earth Day. Everyone loves Earth Day. But Christmas is very close on my list. Yeah, I’m sure you think I’m just going to ruin the meaning of Christmas, but we’ve all done that already, so I’ll talk about what Christmas means to me. It’s a wonderful time full of joy and happiness. Christmas is the time when I put on scrappy clothes and get free food at the Tacoma Rescue Mission. Then, that Salvation Army guy at Kmart gives me money and a bell. Sure he puts up a fight every time, but that’s just a little thing we do. Christmas is also my best chance to score. Me+Mistletoe=Chick Magnet. I’m just a regular stud with my mistletoe. Of course, I get the occasional rejection, slap in the face or jealous boyfriend (theirs, not mine), but that just comes with the territory. My name is Jack Frost and I’m nipping, baby. The other 11 months, I’m a pathetic loser, so Christmas is very, very special to me. The holidays are just one big party for me. I go out to family gatherings every weekend and meet girls. Then, I try to show everyone how wonderful the holidays are. Don, I do, my gay apparel, and spread the warmth and gaiety of Christmas. I go to the parks when it’s snowy and I build these wonderful, anatomically correct, snowmen. It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Forget Santa, or reindeer, or that one religious dude. Christmas is about forgetting everything that is naughty and cherishing everything nice. Free food and money is nice, mistletoe is very nice, and I am very, very naughty.]