[The reason the bond and levy failed is not due to an inherently cheap community. Nor did the combo fail because of the district can’t be afforded anymore tax dollars to waste. It certainly was not a failed effort due to improper campaigning. No, my friends, the real reason wasn’t the distrust of the school district by the people. No, I’ll take a page from Hillary Clinton’s book, It Takes a Village to ....Entertain and Satisfy my Hillbilly Husband. The reason the bond failed was a vast right wing conspiracy. *1
Since my professional counterparts in the journalism field have decided it is okay to throw about wild allegations, not in the least supported by fact, I believe I will do the same. Reality might not support what I have to say next (Reality doesn’t play a role in the First Lady’s assertations either), but it is clear the reason our beloved district couldn’t get the people is because some evil conservative group had to have played a role. What else could it be (don’t answer that if you have an triple digit IQ or an 8th grade education)? Let’s analyze the problem logically. Conservatives do not like to pay taxes. Conservatives are for the most part right wing. The people voted not to pay taxes. Thus the fault lies in the right wing connection. Coincidence you say, I think not. The similarities go much further than that, my friends, much further. Conservatives don’t like to see money wasted, and guess what, neither do the people of the district. Right Wingers like to see real education in schools, not plain ole time killing. And by the polls, the people think the same way. The Right like to try to cut the size of the government, even if it is the nice boys down at the district offices, and you’ll never believe it, the voters do too. If this isn’t a conspiracy as large as Watergate, White Watergate, Travel Gate, Vincent Fostergate, Chinese Bought Influence to the Democratic Partygate, Gennifer Flowersgate, Monica Lewenskigate, and Contract with the Devilgate (again, that one is just a guess), then my President’s name ain’t Slick Willy. Umm, that sounds like a good name for Billy Clinton’s autobiography. And to borrow another page from Mrs. Hillary ‘Stand by your Man’ Clinton’s manuscript of denial, the reason her husband is being treated so shabbily is the partisan Kenneth Starr. Well, the reason the bond/levy failed are all those people who are partisan against foolishly throwing money away. Where are all the supposed media watch dog groups on this autrocity? You know, this district worked a whole lot better before the Right Wing Conspiracy (and people getting a touch smarter didn’t help matters either.) Thank you.]

[*1 It has come to my attention that many of my readers are too stupid to know what a “Right Wing”
person is. Though a starving child in Uruguay probaly could tell you in Latin, I will share. A person characterized as “Right Wing” is one who is more conservative in nature. Conservative being more likely to vote against taxes and for nuclear bombs. Adversley, a person who is “Left Wing” is one
who is more liberal and would like Joseph Stalin and Vladamir Lenin’s faces inserted over Thomas
Jefferson and Abraham Lincoln at Mt. Rushmore.
The Clintons pretend to be middle of the road, but in all actuality they are left wingers. Consequently,
Hillary tried to discredit the right wingers by blaming her hubby’s misuse of his line item veto on “a vast right wing conspiracy.” Hopefully, this information (which you should have already known) will make this column make more sence. However, it probaly will not because the ability to read is prerequisite for understanding my writing. Thank you.]