[Bethel has a lot of things for it. We kill at sports, there are many cool people. We kill at sports. (That point needed to be repeated.) The guys soccer team swept the jamboree; it has a legitimate shot at state. Bethel is a pretty good school. However, people in this school need a serious change in outlook. Everyone is quick to point out flaws; no one stops to think how these mistakes are helpful. We have advantages not available to any other school. Students who fail can blame it on their teacher. Our goal for CFAS tests are just to be average. These "improvement areas" are some of the most appealing parts of this school. Is the glass (or in our case, keg) half full or half empty? What some people see as a serious problems could just as easily be assets. It all depends on attitude. Another example is the cafeteria food. It is easy to say it is terrible, but it does cut back on obesity and gives our custodians something to clean. Even Bethel’s worst point, the four-period day, has an advantage,. Granted it is long, tiring, pointless, foolish, stupid, insulting, and many other degrading adjectives, it does have a definite plus side. It gives us some concrete evidence to irritate the administration. These are all definite plusses. This issue’s top 10 will illustrate all the positive things about this school. These things might well be overlooked. It is easier to see the bad in all of these thing, but I will phrase them all as the valuables they are. Prepare now, folk, for the pride of Bethel.

10. Brave Talk has not published a faculty centerfold. (At least not since the 70s.)
9.  Bethel is a free drug zone.
8.  The Natural Helpers are well rested.
7.  There are so many body piercings, students will never have to worry about a metal detector.
6.  Junior class has four or five presidents. (One elected.)
5.  Aaron was here.
4.  The soccer team finished its season with the best sportsmanship in the entire district.
3.  KBHS is only on one period a day.
2.  CFAS scores can only go up.
1.  Though none of the students can do it, most of the math teachers can figure what percent of
    their class is failing.

As you see, we do have much to be proud of. We still have a way to go, but these are the things we already have down. Zenness to you all as you see through the negative, and perhaps you will get a little Bethel pride of your own.]