[In the School Year of 1997-’98. . .

1.Camel cigarette machines will be installed near the pottery room, right next to the beer and condom dispencers.
2. Principal Terry Pullen will diminish the school day to only two periods, rapidly approaching his one period day plan (which in turn will fulfill his dream of no school at all.)
3. The cheerleaders are bood off the gym floor and declared "traiters" by the new and improved step team.
4. The KBHS staff all find jobs at KSTW (that’s not good.)
5. The senior prank will entail a series of virgin sacrifices- wait a second, that’s me!
6. The school’s employment rate will drop 75% as Safeway announces it’s first round of lay-offs.]