[I have never considered myself a diety, but at one point of the timeline of humanity I played a key role in the anti-school spirit campaign. I insulted the pricipal, I cut on the district, I embarrassed the school logo, I took cheap shots at athletics. I was the Bethel equivalent of Joseph “I killed 34 million more than Hitler” Stalin. Now, I am nothing. Speaking truthfully, folks (notice the s) have come up to me and said “I loved the article.” Others have exclaimed “I totally see your point.” All the while some have uttered “You have really changed.” When did I sell out? I sold out over a space of time. I started being nice to people I didn’t even know. I began to care abo ut folks’ feeings. Heck, I even started watching Friends ag ain. The entire “I hate all you stand for philosophy” h as been replaced with the “I respect your failed ideals.” I sold out. But I want to change. I am ready to refill the void left in all your hearts. I will start with the first Top 10 in quite some time. The top 10 signs that Aaron Nielson has sold out.

10. The soccer team has only beat Spanaway Lake and not a one cheap shot has been fired their way.
9. The administratoin has ruined all things sacred to seniors with out a word being uttered.
8. KBHS, enough said
7. He is the freakin’ ASB secratary
6. Everyone relates to what he says
5. He wrote a favorable editorial concerning the foot ball team.
4. Puppies have stopped disappearing at night.
3. Pullen has been seen smiling
2. The picture in this stupid commentary.
1. He can’t even think of a cut at the Natural Helpers.

I will now go forth and again be the school depressent. (Well, I guess I’m a close second to that Jack Daniels guy.) I am prepared to offend anyone without thinking twice. (Or once, this is after all Bethel.) I am ready to be that dark presence in this school (My apologies to Lucifer.) Thank you, I mean shut up.]