I Exist, Screw you
 
 
(rants, raves and diatribes. little thoughts and feelings about thoughts and feelings)
 
Read on if you will.  Or even if you won't.
 
 
 
At any given time 
In any given place 
I look upon the world 
And then get off my face. 

I drink to find some comfort 
From all the things I've done 
I ride to capture romance 
And drive into the sun. 

I live hap'ly in my dreams 
And sadly in my life 
I try to catch the setting moon 
Try not to taste the knife. 

I drift upon the ocean 
I sail upon the sea 
I live, I love, one day I'll die 
But I know I will be free. 

Free to make decisions 
Free to make a choice 
Free to wish and hope and dream 
And give my passions voice. 
 
 
 
 
Is this what I am looking for??
Are you the one??
I doubt it.
Don't you??
 		 I'm having so much fun 
I might as well be drooling 
I'm so tired and so hung 
Itno longer is a feeling 

I'd stop doing this to my body 
If it wasn't so much fun 
But it is 
So I don't 
And always pay for it tomorrow 

Please tell my hangover 
That tomorrow never comes 
Coz it's in my head right now 
And it never lets me think 

I remember everything 
Sometimes I wish I didn't 
But that's the curse I have to face 
And I never can forget 

So I lie awake at night 
As the roof spins round my head 
And I wait for the room to settle 
And the darkness to shine instead 

Please tell my hangover 
That yesterday's been and gone 
That I just cannot keep on paying 
For last night and past mistakes 
 
You can't beat the system, you can't make  
a difference,you can't win. 

But I'd rather speak out  
and be knocked down,  
than keep silent as they  
walk over me. 
 
 Power Trip 
Show me your face, 
And I can tell you nothing. 
Show me your eyes, 
And I can tell you less. 
For all I can see is myself 
That you reflect back to me. 
And I know myself, 
Less than you.
 
Not as blank as I thought it would be.
Not quite as empty as I wanted it to be.
A space for thought.
A time for reflection.
A blackness inside.
That kills all affection.
A trap that I laid.
And myself that I caught.
And I really don't know if I won,
Or I lost.
And who was the victor,
In a battle with myself?
Trapped 
Lost 
Falling inside. 
Reaching, 
Seeking light, 
Drifting about, 
As the seas 
Of despair, 
Wash over, 
Drag down.		 I cannot see for my eyes are closed. 
I know nothing because I will not learn. 
I would tear you down 
To build myself up. 
I will succeed though all else fail. 

I am of the "me" generation, 
My pleasure is all that matters. 
All else is secondary, 
All else incidental. 
Nothing else matters, but for the eternal I. 

Then what is wrong? 
Why do I sob? 
What is missing so that I find myself lost? 
What do I need? 
Why do I search? 
What must I do, to make myself whole? 

Someone to care for. 
A lover perhaps? 
But that I think won't make it right. 
Maybe I need, 
To care for a stranger. 
And to do something right, 
Without reward or favour. 

But that is so hard, 
Too frightening perhaps. 
As I cannot change so fast. 
And so I go on, 
Unhappily shallow 
And searching, not finding, 
Alone and lost in a shell.

 Stark, 
Barren plain. 
Wind howling, 
As dust swirls 
And branches creak. 
And then I step out, 
And enter the world. 

Leaving my mind behind, 
I approach the breaking day, 
Of my new existence, 
With its hot, heavy light, 
Flowing like molten gold, 
Filled with promise, 
And hope.
I take and I take and I take 
And give nothing back 
But myself 
But my self is all I have to give 
It is all of me 
And none of me 

Everything I am 
And everything I have 
Is given 
And it can not 
Will not 
Will never be 
Enough 
For what you desire 

So leave me now 
And run from me 
Have nothing to do with me 
And maybe you will find what you need 
Someday
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