One day while sleeping in, a childhood friend had decided to pay me a surprise visit. It shouldn't have come as a really big surprise, a few months prior to this he called me after many years & asked what I was up to, & where I lived. At the time, I happened to live in a house with no outside numbering & on a street with no street sign. So I winged it when I told him approxamately where I was at. He asked me how would he find the house in the neighborhood & I told him to just look for a Bikers house... If all else fails, which I doubt, ask a neighbor, they'll tell ya. Armed with nothing but this info, he left LA, ended up close to my house & drove around. He found the house with me asleep inside. He looked quite shocked when we saw each other & said "Wow, you were right as rain, you weren't hard to find & damn, YOU REALLY ARE A BIKER! Well I never gave it a lot of thought, until then. I looked around the yard & house & with some quick observations I replied, "Ya, I guess I am".

...The ashtrays in your house are made out of broken bike parts.

You have a chair that's made from an old motorcycle seat.

Your kitchen wall has the names & numbers of at least 3 of the folling people... Your riding partner, a motorcycle clubhouse, a bail bondsman, the phone number of the County jail, The pizza guy who delivers late & always has a joint on him, a girlfriend who digs you enough to clean up your place without wanting to move in, a red hot babe who's always up for a tumble, the name of your dealer, the name of a backup dealer, The phone number of a package store that delivers into your neighborhood at night, or a sympathetic doctor that understands the meaning of the words "But, I need bike parts!"

You have to search very hard to find a T-shirt that's not black.

You wear a medic alert bracelet that reads "Budweiser quickly!"

You have to hide all of your earings from young chicks cause they think they're just too damn cool & they end up wanting them.

You have a dozen or so witty replies to girls in bars who say "Would you like to contribute to my dance?"

If you stare down of your plate of spaghetti & notice various ways to bend your new drag pipes for your bike, by the shapes of the pasta (...And you weren't smoking anything at the time!)


A wet dream contains at least two of these three items... 2 chicks, more than 2 dozen vintage bikes, a fridge full of Budweiser


If you ever considered makin' your ol'lady think you were fooling around with another woman just so you'd have another excuse to leave the house & ride your bike!

You're asked how many bikes you have & you reply "I have one running right now"

You have a Pitbull named "Kilo"

You have more used bike parts inside your bedroom than Imelda Marcos has shoes

Your formal dining attire consists of a clean bandana

You don't buy Biker magazines because you realize you could be spending the money on bike parts or gas instead.

You don't know squat about metrics, but you're a Rhodes Scholer when it comes to grams and kilos.

Your bluejeans not only stand in the corner by themselves, they run away!

The story that you told your ol'lady about last Saturday night is more credible than the lies that comes from the mouth of a suspected Serial Killer!



MORE TO COME SOON!