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WEBMASTER FRANK'S WEB PAGES

Sick, twisted and disgusting--that's what this page is. It consists of photos clipped from newspapers, stolen from the internet or taken off the TV, with my inimitable comments added. There's more to this page than meets the eye! If you are a mature adult, go soak your head. If you like good clean fun you are in the wrong place! But fun is exactly what this page is all about. Just not the mature, intelligent humor you would expect from a man of my stature--or maybe it is!

Phun Fotos "Is 'stupid' written here?" "Boy, it was so hot the other day, I fried a man on the sidewalk!" "No its NOT true! My favorite movie is NOT 'American Psycho!'" "The internet is the greatest invention since bagels and cream cheese!" "You said that thing I just ate was a chocolate coated--WHAT!" "Wake me when its time to eat!" "What me worry!?" Open your mouth and close your eyes and you will get a big surprise! "I must remember not to blow my nose with my yarmulka! I must remember... ." The Sunshine Boys--Hitler and Mussellini "I swear to God, I AM wearing an underarm deoderant!" Judge Judy and Hillary Clinton should sing duets. They could call themselves "Two Bats Out of Hell!" Hey Arafat! You see that guy on my right? We're gonna screw him real good!" "Now I can fly!" "I am not anti-semitic, I screw everyone equally!" The news from Flushing... . "Didn't I tell you not to put crack in those cigars you sent over to the president!" "They should let me run for president. I would make short shrift of my opponents!" "I am NOT a crook but I AM a war criminal."

I am constantly adding to my little collection of Phun Fotos so do come back often and see what my addled mind has come up with. Also you might want to tell your friends to take a look before the FBI and CIA delete this page and lock me up!

MP3 Swap Meet Looking for MP3 files or any other kind of file? Simply post those files you have and the files you wish to exchange for them along with your e-mail address. Those who are interested will contact you. Or you may use this forum to find the files you need. The files themselves can be sent via e-mail as attachments. All exchanges that are made are the sole responsibility of those who make the exchanges.

Webmaster Frank For President! Vote For The "I'm Not Party!" Webmaster Frank Says, "Vote for me! I'm not Bush, I'm not Gore, I'm not Clinton and I'm certainly not Hillary so if you want to vote against any or all of these candidates then you certainly should vote for me! And not only that but like all of these candidates I will screw the American people out of every penny they have or ever hope to get! So don't throw your vote away by voting for any of the old crooked politicians, vote for a new crooked politician--me!"

Have fun in the sun, at the beach, the swimming pool and in the gym with temporary tattoos!

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Frank's Freebies Secrets Not only can you get freebies on the internet you can get freebies without ever even having to boot up your computer! Here's how: 1) Doctor bills--Never pay a doctor again! Go to your doctor and have him do whatever needs to be done. When he mails you a bill call him up and tell you that you are not paying. Also tell him that if he sues you for the money, you will sue him for malpractice! I guarantee you will never get another bill from that doctor! 2) All bills--Get a rubber stamp made up at your local printing shop. Have it say: "RETURN TO SENDER. ADDRESSEE DECEASED." Next time you get a bill don't open it, just stamp it with this rubber stamp and put it into the nearest street mailbox. No more bills will be sent to you. 3) Books, magazines, CD's, tapes and more. These items are commonly advertised in newspapers and magazines. Clip the coupons, fill them out and mail them in. When the items arrive, order some more. When they send you the bills just ignore them. The companies that send these things out are not likely to spend thousands of dollars on lawyer fees trying to collect the few hundred dollars you owe them. And if they press you too much to pay up, just use the rubber stamp mentioned above!

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Consumers Corner Consumers beware of McAfee software. They contain many bugs and McAfee's technical support department is less than helpful! If you have questions, comments or complaints about computer related hardware or software please click the red button and send them to us. We will publish as many letters as possible on our website.

Barely Human by Raymond Branch--Click cartoon for more great fun!

These cartoons change frequently. We have additional self updating cartoons, comics and features on our other web pages. Don't miss them!

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Family Fun Put yourself and your family on the internet! We can put your photographs and art work on your own website, design the website for you, using your favorite colors and let you tell the world about your family in your own words. Let the whole world know how great you and your kids and grandkids are! Communicate with distant family members! We now have affordable family rates. Click here for more information. Resumes And Personal Websites We can put your resume and/or personal information on the internet! Glorify yourself at very reasonable rates! This is a great way to get a new job, meet that special someone, or just express your opinions and ideas! Click here for further details. Put Chat On Your Website We can now put chat--both voice and text--as well as guestbooks and bulletin boards on your page at no extra charge. Now you can keep in contact with family, friends, business associates and other visitors to your site. Click here for a free demo and for price information.

Eyeball this site and the cool captions! Be sure to tell your Current Events teacher about it. But not your psychiatrist! If this site doesn't set your progress back ten years, nothing will! Be sure to bookmark this page by pressing ctrl+d so you can come back and check out all the crazy changes that we frequently make. And don't let the FBI catch a gander at this page or we'll both be in serious trouble!