Imagine being given a key by a trusted person . You put the key in a door labeled “destiny”, and when you open it you find yourself looking into the flames of hell. Imagine what it would be like to have two kinds of people in the world : brickgivers and brick-takers. Every time you meet one of them, a brick is either added to your pile or one is taken off. Life is full of heavy burdens. This is what my life was like before I came to know Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior.

When I was asked to write my testimony of what Jesus Christ has done in my life , I thought, why me? God has since put a lot on my heart to say, and if my testimony can influence just person to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior then this was time well spent.

As I thought about my life and testimony, I asked my self two questions:
1. What was it that brought me to Jesus Christ?
2. What prevented me from giving my life to Jesus Christ sooner?

Using my testimony and the gospel of John I will try to answer these two questions with the hope that this may help you to give your life to Jesus and experience what each of us has experienced. The reason I chose the gospel of John is because I truly came to know Jesus Christ after reading it in the fall of 1992.

I grew up in Baltimore, Maryland. I was raised in a church going family. I was basically a “good” kid up through high school ( got average grades, drank some, but never used drugs or smoked cigarettes, ect.)

I didn’t have a lot of friends. I always felt like a misfit. I always felt different from everyone else. I went to church and was exposed to the gospel, but it never became personal. I didn’t see how all the teachings in church fit into my life. I always thought of myself as a very practical person and when something didn’t work , I’d chuck it. I chucked religion.

After high school I went away to college. It was there at a party where an extremely attractive girl offered me a joint. Being curious, and wanting desperately to fit in, I tried it. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t enjoy it along with consuming large amounts of beer and wine. If it wasn’t enjoyable, no one would do it, right? After this I started smoking pot at parties and before concerts . I never bought any  pot  I was just there when it was being passed around. Since I never smoked cigarettes I could never get the hang or full effect of smoking pot. I really preferred beer and wine. My friends and I would go to bars on weekends and combine hash, marijuana and alcohol. I would wake up in the morning not knowing how I had gotten home ( usually I had driven myself home).During this time I was very lonely. I would stand in a bar, listening to a rock band, looking at all the people, and wondering if this was all that there was to life. I knew something was wrong in my life, something was missing, but I did not know what it was. Some of my college friends started using LSD. I saw how it changed their personalities. Some even became violent. One even died, when he thought he could fly and jumped off the roof of a building in town. My friends and I were devastated. We all went our separate ways (they flunked out).

My senior year in college  was  a focal point in my life. I suspect that few people in colleges were more sincere in trying to find meaning and truth and purpose of life than I was. I hadn’t found it yet, but I didn’t realize that at first. In and around the university I noticed a small group of people: 20 students and two faculty members ,one being one of my history instructors. I noticed there was something different about their lives. They seemed to know why they believed what they believed. I like being around people like that. I don’t care if they agree with me. Some of my closest friends are opposed to some of the things I believe, but I admire a man or woman with conviction

The people I began to notice just didn’t talk about love. They got involved. They seemed to be riding above the circumstances of college life. One important thing I noticed was that they seemed to have a happiness, a state of mind not dependent on circumstances. They appeared to possess an inner, constant source of joy. They were disgustingly happy. They had something I didn’t have. Like the average student, when someone had something I didn’t have , I wanted it. So, I decided to make friends with these intriguing people. I was invited to their Bible study.

I looked over at one of the students, a good looking freshman girl, ( I use to think all Christians were ugly); and I leaned back in my chair because I didn’t want the others to think I was interested, and I said, “Tell me, what changed your lives? Why are your lives so different from the other students? Why?

That young woman must have had a lot of conviction . She looked me straight in the eye, no smile and said two words I never thought I’d hear as part of a solution at college
“Jesus Christ”. I said , “ Don’t give me that garbage. I’m fed up with church, I’m fed up with the Bible, I’m fed up with religion. So don’t give me that garbage about religion.” She replied back, “Hey, I didn’t say religion, I said Jesus Christ”. She pointed out Christianity is God coming to men and women through Jesus Christ offering them a relationship with himself. A Christian is someone who puts his trust in Christ.

I thought this was a farce. They didn’t give up on me. They kept inviting me back and I kept going. What really interested me was  study on Bible Prophecy. As the source of our study we used Hal Lindsey’s book, “ The Late Great Planet Earth”. This book planted the seed in me , which would be harvested later in my life. Imagine the Bible written thousands of years ago predicting future events with precision.  This was hard to argue against. At that time in my life , I had a major problem. My mind told me this was all true but my will was pulling me in another direction. I thought that becoming a Christian was rather ego shattering. I didn’t care if he did walk on water or turn water into wine. I didn’t want any party pooper around. I couldn’t think of a faster way to ruin a good time.

My next exposure to Christianity was during my marriage. My in-laws were what I considered very religious. They were Born Again Christians. They were always happy, cheerful and had a certain peace about them. My wife and I started to attend church with them. Again I felt a tugging on my heart, but I wouldn’t commit. I now realize this was Jesus Christ making a direct challenge to my will.” Look! I have been standing at the door and I am constantly knocking. If you hear me calling  you and you open the door , I will come in” (Revelation 3:20, I made the quote personal)

I turned away from the church and the Lord after the death of my son ,Sean Christopher Weeks. He died ten days after birth. Both my wife and I were devastated. Why would a loving God do that to us? I felt so confused, hurt and utterly sad. The child I thought was mine is gone. I wanted to cry. Cry for a child who will never ask, “Why do trees turn red in autumn?” “ Why do I have to go to bed right now?” “Why are you crying daddy?”
I will never be able to ask him ,” Son, what will you be when you grow up?” I  thought you might want to be a doctor, or a famous musician and be the creator of beautiful music. No  I won’t be having this conversation with my son , because he was taken from me ! My son had  some how died , the child of my dreams and hopes is no more. I was told by the pastor that these feelings are normal, but that didn’t help the pain. The funeral for the child of my expectations is over now and I must get on with my life.  I understand that my in-laws still visit the cemetery from time to time. If I was still living there ,
I’d put cub scout caps and grade school projects at his grave. But I don’t spend much time there any more.  For , I have been blessed with two daughters to love. Almost one year later my oldest daughter Shannon was born. She was born premature, weighing about 2 pounds and with Spina Bifida. I remember taking her to various churches to be prayed over for a healing. In a way I thought God owed this to me. Prove to me that you are real. Heal my daughter! I was using her as a fleece to prove to me there is a God. And when nothing happened , I withdrew further. Perhaps my fleece was not honored because my heart was not right. At this point in my life I was playing into Satan’s hands and he was leading me astray. I began to have a very negative out look on life and it showed in my relationships with anyone I came in contact with. I then lost my job, and felt like a complete failure. My anger , temperament and pride destroyed a lot of relationships. It wasn’t long before my marriage ended in divorce.

I thought this sudden freedom was the answer I was looking for, but it wasn’t. I began to wonder if prestige was the answer. To get prestige, I felt I had to be successful in my career. Be a leader. I began to put everything I had into my new job to get those promotions. Finally, the promotion I longed for came . With the promotion came a relocation from Richmond, Virginia to Portland , Oregon.

My excitement over this promotion was short lived. I started drinking more and more trying to burn my mind out so I wouldn’t feel the pain of loneliness. I was three thousand miles away from my family , my two daughters who I missed  ever so much. I was alone empty, and depressed. Loneliness is a terrible feeling. Feeling isolated and alone is a feeling that seeps into the bones. We all experience it from time to time. Some experience it for only a short while; others for a life time. As I am writing this a I realize that Jesus Christ was totally alone as He faced and endured the Cross. He was totally alone when He cried , “My God , My God, why have you forsaken Me”? He knows what loneliness feels like.

Fortunately, I was placed in an office where there were a lot of Christians. Everytime  I was around those enthusiastic Christians, the conflict would begin again. If you’ve ever been around happy people when you’re miserable, you understand how they can bug you. They would be so happy and I would be so miserable I would literally stop walking around the office and go back into my private office. It would get to the point where I’d go to bed at night and I wouldn’t get to sleep until four in the morning. I knew I had to get it off my mind before I went out of my mind. I was always opened minded, but not so open minded that my brains would fall out.

The those Christians began to pray for my salvation. Recently, I found out that my ex-mother in law along with my two daughter were also praying for my salvation so we would be together in heaven. I firmly believe that the Lord removed me from that environment in Virginia where I was resisting his calling. I had to be broken down to a point where I would cry out to Him for help. My ego and my pride were getting in the way, so  I had to be humbled. I was not accepted by my employees nor my boss and came very close to getting fired. My personal life was a mess. I was failing on my job as well as in my relationships outside of the office. I had reached rock bottom. I was so unhappy that sometimes I thought about suicide. I just thought about it in my depression, I never attempted to act on this thought. Satan had his hands around my throat choking the life from me.

Then in September 1992, I was invited by my boss to come with him to the Billy Graham crusade. So I did. It was a wonderful experience. I almost got up and went down for the altar call, but I was scared, so I remained seated. But the seed that was planted in me back in 1974, began to sprout. I was ripe for the harvest.

On October 4,1992, at 11:30 P.M., I became a Christian. The angels were rejoicing in heaven as another name was written in the Lambs Book of Life, William Fred Weeks. Praise God! He continued to knock at the door to my heart and I opened it, and invited Him in.

Somebody asked me, “How do you know?” I said, “Look I was there. It’s changed my life.” That night I prayed four things to establish a relationship with the resurrected and living Christ which has since transformed my life.

First, I said, “Lord Jesus, thank you for dying on the cross for me.” Second, I said, “I confess those things (sins) in my life that aren’t pleasing to you and ask that you forgive me and cleanse me.” Third, I said, “ Right now , in the best way I know how, I open the door of my heart and life and trust you as my Savior and Lord. Take control of my life. Change me from the inside out. Make me the type of person you created me to be. The last thing I prayed was,” thank you for coming into my life by faith.”

Well after I prayed nothing happened. No bolts of lightning, or claps of thunder and . I didn’t sprout wings . In fact I felt worse. I thought I was going to vomit. I felt sick. The feeling eventually passed.

The very next Sunday in Church I found out how my life changed when I was baptized in the Holy Spirit. I didn’t know what was going on. My knees were weak, they started to shake, I started to cry uncontrollable tears. Deep soul searching tears. I tried to fight it as I didn’t want anyone to see me crying. But the Lord is stronger than me and he was in control. I cried through the entire service continued to cry for an additional 30 minutes. It seems that the people in the church knew what was going on and began to hug me. Strangers who I didn’t even know where hugging me. I only remember two songs from that  Sunday service which is why they mean so much to me today when I sing them. The first song was “ Nothing But The Blood of Jesus” and the second song was “ Humble Thyself In The Sight Of The Lord.” I was on an emotional high for several weeks after this experience. I went home got out my Bible and read the gospel of John, my favorite book of the Bible.

It is difficult to describe what happened as I read the gospel of John. in it I saw a man named Jesus who came not to judge people but to save them. He was calling for all the world to follow him. I read about how Jesus healed the sick, blind, and demon possessed. This was a man of great power and compassion. As I read John, my heart was warmed. I began to see that God, in the person of Jesus Christ, was real. ( As if my church experience didn’t already show me that). I asked Him to deliver me from quick temper, excessive drinking,  foul language and pornography, which I was addicted too.

That day I felt new and clean inside. The loneliness left me. I had an inner peace about me. I still have conflicts in my life but now that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ I have the ability to cope with it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

Another area in my life that changed was my temper. I used to blow my stack if somebody just looked at me cross-eyed.

There’s another area of which I’m not proud. But I have to mention it because a lot of people need have the same change in their lives., and I found the source of change: a relationship with the  resurrected, living Christ.  That area is hatred. I had a lot of hatred in my life. I was ticked off with people , with things ,with issues. Like so many other people , I was insecure. Everytime I met someone different from me, he became a threat to me. After I made that decision for Christ and reading the gospel of John a love from God through Jesus Christ entered my life and was so strong it took the hatred and turned it upside down.

God took away the desire for me to go out an get drunk and he filled me with “His high.” He lifted form from the bonds of pornography. When I asked Jesus to take over my life , I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit in my heart. I felt a great weight being lifted off my shoulder.

I now knew for sure that Jesus was real because I felt His presence inside of me, just as he had promised. John 14:16,” And I  will pray the Father and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Hi; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”

Since He answered my prayer and revealed Himself to me , I have tried to keep my part by giving him my life. This is not easy!!! We can only do this through His help. Each day I give myself to Him again and ask that He help me do His will. When I fail, He forgives me, just as He promised.

1John 1:9,” If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

When you become a Christian, God changes your desires. You don’t want to do wrong anymore, you want to be like Jesus. But because we are still  in human flesh, we fall into sin. Sometimes we take God for granted and slack off on praying, reading the Bible, and good works. But He convicts us of sin through the Holy Spirit. When I realize that I have sinned, I ask God to forgive me and He is always faithful to forgive me and fill me with His Spirit again.

Becoming a Christian doesn’t mean that all of your problems go away. I still feel lonely sometimes, but now I pray and the Holy Spirit reassures me that He is with me.

What Drew me to Jesus Christ?

· His great love for misfits: poor, blind, crippled, fishermen, simple people.
· His offer of freedom: John 8:34-36. ”Most assuredly, I say to you, whoever commits sin is a slave of sin. And a slave does not abide in the house forever, but a son abides forever. Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed.”
· His offer of comfort and fellowship: John 14:16-18, “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
· His prayer for me before He was crucified: John 17:20, “ I do not pray for these alone but also for those who will believe in Me through their word;”
· His love in dying on the cross for my sins: John 15:13. “ Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.”

What kept me from coming to Him sooner?

I needed to see my need for Him. I had to hit rock bottom. Christians do not live as they should. This is not an excuse- we must look at Christ and not Christians. people made the gospel so complicated that I didn’t understand what it was all about. I did not realize that coming to Jesus meant surrendering your life to His Lordship. I had raised my hand at invitations to become a Christian several times  at church in the past. No one ever explained to me that becoming a Christian is more than just raising your hand or praying the sinner’s prayer. You must, to the best of your ability, surrender your life to Jesus. He must be accepted as Savior and Lord, or else you are still in rebellion.

The gospel is this:

Repent. Turn from living for yourself and ask Jesus to forgive your sins and take over your life. Don’t hold on to anything ( there is nothing in life worth holding on to).
Believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins and has forgiven you.
 
 

What now?

If you would like to become a Christian, if you are tired of running your own life, simply ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to take over your life. Ask Him to show you that He is real by sending His Holy Spirit into your life. You can be set free, just as I was, but you must be willing to give Jesus your life. You can trust Him with it. He really just wants the best for you.

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.”

God Bless.
William Fred Weeks