CUBICLES
Cubicles-sometimes called "work spaces" or "pods"-serve as a constant reminder of the employee's marginal value to the company. I've never seen a brochure from a cubicle manufacturer, but I think it would look something like this:
The Cubicle 6000 Series
Think of The Cubicle 6000 as a lifestyle, not just a big box to keep your crap in one place!!
We used nature as our guide when we designed The Cubicle 6000. Every unit has the unmistakable motivational feel of the four most inspiring locations on earth:
Veal-Fattening Pen:
Imagine the security that those lucky young cows feel, snug in their individual living units, without a care in the world. The reaffirming message is "Live for today!"
Cardboard Box:
It's the same architecture that has transported the possessions of successful people for hundreds of years!
Baby's Playpen:
A reminder of the exuberance of youth and the thrill of being held captive by strange people who speak gibberish and punish you for reasons you don't understand!
Prison Cell:
We've "captured" the carefree feeling of a convict serving twenty to life. Experience the security that was previously available only in the penal system!
And look at these features!!
- Open top so you'll never miss a surrounding noise.
- Small size so you can enjoy the odors of your co-workers.
- No annoying windows.
- Available in battleship gray or feces brown.
- Movable--discover the thrill of frequent office shuffling.
- Coat hanger (only available on the Admiral Series).
From the book, "The DILBERT Principle", by Scott Adams