|
STAFF
CanaryBall |
|
Writing Canaries Home |
WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT MUSIC It was amazing. It wasn't the first time it had happened. I crept in to the old church and wondered, What am I doing here? WHY am I here? It was then when I realized I couldn't think. It was as if all my brain files were trapped somewhere in a drawer, and I couldn't find the key. I suddenly saw an old organ & a choir singing happily. Suddenly, everything turned fuzzy, until it was a complete blackout.
"Beth? Beth?" Someone was shrieking my name, but whoever it was, sounded so far away. Slowly everything came into focus. "Elizabeth? Are you awake, honey?" Frazzled faces of my mom, dad & brother came before my eyes. "All right, all right, she's okay, you can go now." Said the worried voice of my father to the crowd around me. Whispers rippled through the air as footsteps walked away. My mom & dad walked away from me for a few minutes. But even though I was still breathless & tired from the faint & they were whispering, I could hear them as though they were shouting. "But why?" said dad "I always thought I understood children." "It's always our own children we don't understand, Harry." said mom.
So I wasn't surprised when the next day my mom confronted me. "Beth, Hon, you know how you have fainted more then 5 times now," "mmmm," I said, not wanting to talk about it. "Well, you see, we, your father & I have decided that you should see a psychiatrist." "WHAT?!" I exploded "Why? OOOOOHHHHH.."
There was a loud thud. "That does it, Harry. Just book an appointment." My mom called. "Caroline, why are you shouting?" "Harry, she just went out again!"
The next morning I lay down on the psychiatrist's bed-chair-thing, and waited for Dr. Fishbein. He was very clean, I must say. He kept washing his hands over and over again that it looked like he was going to operate on me instead of just ask me a few questions.
When he finally had finished washing his hands and getting his notebook and his pen and a chair, he sat down next to me & patted my hand.
Doc: "So, Ms. Elizabeth, how are you feeling today?"
Me: "Quite fine, thank you."
Doc: "How are your diabetes?"
Me: "Everything's okay, Dr. Fishbein."
Doc: "Is something troubling you, Beth?"
Me: "Nothing at all, Doc."
Doc: "Don't lie to me, Liz!
When I looked panic-stricken, he said, "I'm sorry. But Liz, is there something you're hiding from me?" I shook my head, but slowly, the shake turned into a nod.
"What is it?" asked doc. I broke into a sob. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but I've tried everything, I tried telling my mom, but the words just didn't come out!" "Ahhhhh," said the doctor "Now we're warmer! I've heard of many cases like this. Tell me, do you mind if I hypnotise you?" "Will it hurt?" I asked, trembling. "Not exactly," he said "you'll just feel really sleepy, yawn a couple of times & then, you feel as if you were sleeping, but then, you will be saying those words that you were afraid to say." I sighed. "Okay." I said. "As long as it's for the best."
For the next few moments I could feel nothing, but for the next few decades, I was happier then I was ever before.
When I was sixteen I got a job as a singer. You might realize now, that I was too embarrassed to tell my parents my love of singing, and it got trapped inside me. That explains, why I fainted and when I did, got dreams about music.
That is why I think: WHAT IS LIFE WITHOUT MUSIC.
[Printing Version]