SR: Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, I am scheduled to have an interview with... Signore Balzaretti.

{He shakes slightly}

SR: We all remember what he did to me last time I wanted to talk to him, but I hope he is just a tiny bit friendlier today.

{He knocks on Balzaretti's locker room door.}

Voice: WHAT!

SR: Um, sir, it's Steve Rider, I'd like to have an inte...

{Suddenly the door opens and a hand grabs Rider by the throat. The hand pulls him in and we can hear a short Rider-ish sceam. The camera follows and enters the locker room.}

{Rider is sitting on a chair, his hands in front of his face. Signore Balzaretti sits across the room, smiling, smoking a fat cigar. The huge Italian begins to laugh at Rider and then motions for him to start with his interview. Rider doesn't see the wink since his hands are still covering his eyes. Balzaretti's face changes to a serious look as he asks Rider to start.}

Balzaretti: START!

{Rider looks up and realizes he's not dead... yet}

SR: Oh, phew, good, sure.

Balzaretti: ASK!

SR: Well, I take it you're in the mood to continue with this interview.

Balzaretti: Not if you don't begin VERY soon!

SR: Ok, got it. So, you have a match this Wednesday, any thoughts?

Balzareti: No.

SR: Yes, you do have a match, believe me.

Balzaretti: I know, but I don't have any thoughts.

SR: What do you mean, you don't have any thoughts, you must have SOME.

Balzaretti: My only thought is that I finally get to BEAT PEOPLE UP!

SR: Fair enough.

Balzaretti: Who's my opponent?

SR: Ecstasy.

Balzaretti: WHO?

SR: Ecstasy, he's a new Superstar here, I just interviewed him yesterday, he seems to be a NICE guy, not like some other people here in this room.

Balzaretti: You're not a nice guy, Man-With-A-Stupid-Name!

SR: I was referring to you!

Balzaretti: Oh. Ok. I'm not a nice guy.

SR: Well, yeah, I figured that out myself.

Balzaretti: More questions?

SR: Yes, what are your tactics gonna be for the match?

Balzaretti: I don't need tactics.

SR: Oh come on, you know that this is wrestli...

Balzaretti: I just BEAT HIM UP, and I'm fine.

SR: He said you're big...

Balzaretti: True.

SR: ...strong...

Balzaretti: True.

SR: ...and clumsly.

Balzaretti: Not true. He'll find that out, don't worry.

SR: Oh, I believe you... for now. He said he will just enrage you and you would lose control.

Balzaretti: HA!

SR: What... HA?

Balzaretti: Let him tell you all this, I don't care, I will just go there and BEAT HIM UP real good, and you can go ask him about that stuff afterwards.

SR: I told him not to mention your Mama...

Balzaretti: WHAT DID HE SAY ABOUT MAMA! I'LL KILL HIM!

SR: Nothing! He said nothing about your Mama!

Balzaretti: You sure, Uglyman?

SR: Yes, yes, I told HIM about your Mama...

Balzaretti: WHAT ABOUT MAMA! YOU! I'LL BEAT YOU UP!

SR: GOD! Calm down, man! Nothing about {mockingly} Mama!

Balzaretti: ENOUGH ABOUT MAMA! She has NOTHING to do with this!

{He jumps up and is ready to charge at Rider, who also gets up and hides behind his chair. Balzaretti decides to calm down again and sits back down, and so does Rider.}

SR: Sorry, man, didn't mean to offend you.

Balzaretti: Yes you did, but that's ok. You know, Mama is a good person. She works for Charity.

SR: And so do you, as far as I can remember, right?

Balzaretti: Yes. But Mama is the boss. She gives all the money we... collect... to people who... deserve it.

SR: Ok, just hold it there, I don't even wanna know wo THAT is!

Balzaretti: Good.

SR: So, you wanna say something to your opponent?

Balzaretti: Yeah. Book your hospital bed. I'm gonna BEAT YOU UP!

SR: Not a man of many words, are you?

Balzaretti: I let my actions speak.

SR: Alright, anything you want to add to that.

Balzaretti: No.

SR: Fair enough, so let's end this interview, ok?

Balzaretti: Sure.

{Rider gets up and leaves the room. One outside he sighs and breathes deeply.}

SR: What a freak! I don't wanna be Ecstasy on Wednesday, man, this guy is a maniac!

{Fade out.}