He grows a little smile and hides the drink behind his back. Esteban tries to put the drink down as unnoticeably as possible, but of course he spills it and lets out a loud AY! As he jumps to his feet!

Esteban: Goddammit, Rider, can’t you possibly warn me when you turn on that light? Scared the shit out of me! AND you spilled my drink! I swear, when this interview is over and you refuse to buy me another one, I’ll kick your sorry ass!

SR: Ok, ok, take it easy, Esteban!

Esteban: You promise you buy me another drink?

SR: Yeah, and if it’s only to calm you down!

Esteban: You know I need my Cuba Libre!

SR: It’s no secret that you're an addict, but can we start with the interview, please?

Esteban: Bueno, what do you want to know, Rider?

SR: First of all, you got a win over Jim Lody just a couple of days ago. Any thoughts?

Esteban: What do you want me to say, hombre? I kicked his ass! I hit the Salto Angel and I went for the one two three, subject closed!

SR: Fair enough. Um, what do you have to say about your recent problems with Dark Warrior and Ranger Steel?

Esteban: I don’t know what their problem is, man! The only reason I can think of is that they suck up to the commish, blow him whenever he needs it, and because I’m not in the commish’s good books he wants to dismantle me with these two jokes! I mean, come on, I once had respect for the Power Ranger, but ever since the day he decides to kiss some military monkey’s ass, I lost the respect. He’s just a pawn, Rider, and pawns deserve to get their ass kicked.

SR: How come you have such a strong relation to the expression ‘ass kicked’?

Esteban; How should I know? Maybe it’s the alcohol’s work. But it’s none of your business, and if you ever ask me that again, I’m gonna kick your ass!

SR: Dark War…

Esteban: Dark Warrior is a lowlife, worthless, unskilled worker, with less brain cells than Cecilia’s nail polisher! He’s not worthy to be mentioned in the same sentence as ESTEBAN THE SUPERNATURAL!

SR: He’s had a couple of impressive victories over the last few weeks.

Esteban: Yeah, and you know why? Because he pays the referees double the amount of bucks I do… I mean the company does! He’s adapting to these ruthless and illegal tactics I invent…. I used to do! But not anymore, of course, I mean, we’re all good people here, aren’t we, Rider?

SR: Yes, yes, indeed, so you reckon…

Esteban: I don’t reckon anything! I know that I have to fight Schmuck Warrior this Friday, and let me tell you one thing, boy, I’m ready to whoop some ass! Did I say whoop? I MEANT KICK SOME ASS of course! You know, Dark Warrior, he may be on a hot streak, but look at the opponents he faced! JOBBERS! Now he wants to call ME a jobber? Hombre, he is in for something this Friday?

SR: And what would that be?

Esteban: A BEATDOWN PALACE STYLE, of course!

SR: Talking about the Palace, do you know anything of the whereabouts of your tag team partner, Mr. Right Jason Chambers?

Esteban: Of course I do!

SR: And?

Esteban: And what?

SR: Where is he?

Esteban: I think he’s going to tell you himself, when the time is right.

SR: What do you mean, when the time is right?

Esteban: Rider, THINK! He asked me not to tell you, because he wants to tell his fans where he is and what he’s doing! I don’t know when, I don’t know where, but I can tell him you said hi.

SR: Yeah, do that. Back to Dark…

SR: Your thoughts on Chance…

Esteban: Chance here, Chance there, who needs CHANCE anyway, I don’t! He’d better shut the hell up and make sure to stay out of my way. He might be a good talker, but he should have gone into politics then, for Christ’s sake! This is wrestling, you’re gonna have to back up your words with ACTION. And I doubt he’s in any state to do that, mentally and physically. Stuart, Taylor is gonna shut you up this Friday and if he can’t, but I’m sure he will, someone else will have to do all the dirty work. Now don’t look at me, Rider, I have better things to do, like winning back my WORLD TITLE for example, which is still around the waists of MILD THANG! And wrongfully so, by the way, we all know that I was the better man in the cage match at the last PPV, he was just LUCKY to have touched the ground first!

SR: So, is there anything else you want to say, I want to get out of here and go home to sweet Crackie-babe.

Esteban: You fucking stay here and listen to what I have to say, hombre, you’re not going anywhere without me authorising your every single step, soldier! You still hang out with that drag?

SR: Well, yeah…

Esteban: You disgust me, Rider! Anyhow, Schmuck Warrior, time that somebody gets up and show you your limits. You’re not immortal, you’re not invincible, you’re not even a good wrestler! And your sister, well, bring her down to ringside! I’ll have my lady show her a thing or two in wrestling if you want. In EXTREME wrestling of course! You know, Dark Man, you talk about kicking me in the face, and how it felt so good, well, dream on, boy, the only thing you’ll be kicking on Friday is your sister’s ass, because you’re so frustrated that you couldn’t land ONE SINGLE MOVE on the Latin Lover, and because your sis will be ALL OVER ME when she sees me perform again! But then, my friend, I will shake her off like you do it in the bathroom during the sesame street commercials. Dark Warrior, I’m ready to teach you a lesson in manners, a lesson in wrestling, a lesson in good ol’ lovin’, and a lesson in how to get your ass kicked without moving! Call me your teacher, call me GOD, if you will, but most of all, call me WINNER! You’ve had quite a winning streak, Dark Boy, but it’s finally time that you meet your master! I’ll punish you for being a bad wrestler, a bad brother, a bad lover, and for just being plain stupid.

SR: Um, time is running out.

Esteban: Shut up, Rider, the interview is over when I say it’s over! And, well, it’s OVER!

SR: Right. Ladies and Gentlemen, this was HWA TV, I’m Steve Rider and the alcoholic over there, that’s the Latin Lover, Esteban.

Esteban: What? WHAT? I heard that, Rider, now you’re in deep shit! Get me my Cuba Libre or I’ll rip your head off! Wait, get me two!

The scene fades out with a shot of Esteban threatening to punch Rider in the face, but our beloved interviewer/commentator is holding his hands in front of his face, begging him not to get beaten up again. Esteban just laughs and throws one arm around Rider’s shoulder. They take off to the bar. Fade to black.