*Mama Always Says...* I got this in an e-mail recently and I was laughing sooooooo hard, lol...most of these things my mom has said to me at one time or another...read this to your mom and I bet she'll laugh, too!! =P My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!!" My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that will come out of the carpet." My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up your room, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!!" My mother taught me LOGIC: "Why? because I said so, that's why." ((lol...does this ring a bell, mommy?)) My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident." My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep crying and i'll give you something to cry about." My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!!" My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you just look at the dirt on the back of your neck?" My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished." My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado went through your room." My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because i saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?" ((lol...my gramma tells me this because I never pay attention to what she says...)) My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out." My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!!" ((hehe!!)) My mother taught me about ENVY - "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!!" =P