Okay, before you read this and find me guilty of being a male chauvinist, please understand that there is a valid point being raised here. All I am trying to do is open a discussion on the following topic. Thank you.

So I'd like to talk to you about breasts for a moment.

Have you ever been staring at a chick's chest and she catches you? Well I have, and I shall tell you something that you can say to that particular girl when next it may occur. So in about ten minutes, be ready with this response.

RULE 1 ON BREASTS

You see, a girl may say "you're a big", "pervert", or such, but is it really true? No, of course not. They (women) want us to look at their breasts. How can I say this, well listen; Why do women wear push-up bras, tight shirts, and baby T's that only cover their necks? For that matter why a black bra and white shirt?

And what's the deal with breast implants - for self-esteem? Today, and yesterday, when fake breasts were invented, women were lead to believe that it was only for their self esteem and not for the pleasure of us men. That, my friends, was the best line a girl ever fell for. Now don't get me wrong, I know women are happier and feel better after they've gone from indent to a five-man tent. But hey, come on, it's all to attract men. The tight T's and push-up bras, why else whould they wear them? Well if they were "let's be friends" then okay. But think about it. They're trying to present us with the biggest, roundest, greatest set of "pillowy pinks" we have ever seen.

So the next time you get caught, ask her (or them if you're lucky) why they wore that tight shirt, push-up bra, or if you know, why they got those wonderful breast implants. If they answer "...it makes me feel sexy", "...beautiful", "...I like it", or "...it makes me feel more complete" then you'll know they did it just for you. Happy hunting and good luck!

This was writen by someone at my unveristy newspaper, so I am not responsible for the information kept here. More rules to follow, keep checking back. If you've any rules you'd like to add, just email us and we'll put it up for you.