The Guru's Poem
The ballad of our locker room
The ballad of the weez
the ballad of foxy lady
The ballad of the hase
the ballad of the champ
the ballad of the schkinny man
rambo's ballad

The great Guru
His eyes shine like
Stars in the sky
But, O!
Some cherish not
They hail the
Science Freak and
We say together,
Brett and Tom,
"What is the matter
With these idiodic people"
And we quote
"F's for them and not the
Guru Worshipers"
Guru
The one and only one.

The Weez is a 
Monkey,
He likes to dance
Funky.

When he goes 
Waah!
He must've seen a fat girl,
Blaah!

He is Friends with the 
Boose,
Who is a silly
Goose,
Also the 
Chan,
Who has a great 
Tan,
He also likes
Shoffie,
Because he drinks 
Coffee.

This is my 
Story,
About Weez's
Glory.
As I said 
Before,
In hoops he can't
Score.

He likes to dance 
Funky,
'Cause he's a
Monkey.

Our locker room 
Is never clean,
With showers on 
There is much steam.

Our locker room is very small,
Less room than a crowded hall,
With us packed like sardine,
We all turn very green.

In our locker room there is an ever flushing toilet
Because of the handle, nobody ever oils it.

There are some words,
Some not good,
About a happening 
Out on the wood
Of our gym floor,
They shove each other out the door
Because right now they hate each other
But in an hour they will be brother.

In our locker room towels snap
Upon each others hurting back,
Right now their faces will get wacked
But in two seconds they will share a snack.

This is stuff that happens in our locker room,
Why don't they sweep it out with a broom?

The big brown 
Eye
Of Foxy Lady
Guy,
Makes me
Wiggle,
Then I 
Giggle.

Foxy Lady is a 
Beauty,
And a very foxious
Cutie.

He like to play
Ball,
Cause he get a lotta 
Booty Call.

Girls have the
Gall
To press him 'ginst
Wall,
But I rescue 
Him
From the girls'
Limb.

We should go on
Maury,
With my
Story,
For me being
Weighty,
About this 
Foxy Lady!

This is the ballad of the
Hase,
He always says
"I'm sick of your face."

His stupid appendix made him stay 
Home,
And talk and talk upon the
phone.

Everybody was nice to 
Him,
I bet you more than once he did 
Flem.

He has a brother who is a 
Jabroni,
Because he eats cheese and 
Macaroni.

He doesn't have big 
Feet. 
Once again, I must
Repeat,
That this is the Ballad of the 
Hase,
He always says
"I'm sick of your face."

Champ, Champ
Goes to camp
In the woods
Far away from Topeka 'hoods.

He won the bee
Of spelling he,
Played football
And scored the winning T.D. for us all.

He played B-Ball
And popped the trey
We all said "Hey, hey, hey."

He's very quick and fast and long
But he is not very strong.

We call him Champ,
For winning the bee,
This is the story of he.

This is the Ballad of the Schkinny
Man,
He only has about one
Fan.

He broke his Neck,
Said "it hurt like Heck."
He broke it in Missouri,
They Got him to hospital in a hurry.

He used to play Baseball,
Until he had his big fall.
He was pretty good and threw fast,
But sometimes he ran outta gas.

This is the ballad of the Schkinny Man,
He only has about one fan.

Rambo's Ballad is not just about his hair
It's also about Channel's bear.

Often Rambo's hair
Reflects his great care
Of other people's problems
Of being afraid of goblins.

Rambo is our point guard
He is sharp as a shard
When he's on that court
He acts like a general at a fort
Because he loves this B-ball sport.

Rambo is very strong 
He doesn't do any wrong.

This ballad is very wee,
As you can see
This ballad has nothing to do about Channel's bear
Ande not all of Rambo's Ballad is about his hair.

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