1. First Name: Bethany

2. Middle Name: Leigh

3. Last Name: Hedges

4. Nicknames: Beth-0-knee, spatula girl, muffler, "breast-any", SMOOVE, catapulter of astroturf, laura's "supplemental anarchist baby", dirty whore #1; often confused with laura.

5. Sex: feeeeeeeeemale

6. Residence: Traer 128 in GA, home of the state-wide soap opera. let me tell you something about GA. this is a place that has been forever scarred by inbreeding and GOD KNOWS what else. don't visit here. if you live here, leave-RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN. my life was pseudo-normal till i got here. if anything, this webpage should serve as a warning of the effects of moving to GA.

7. Birthday: May 2 (if you give me presents you will be rewarded) i would celebrate the day that i officially became a dirty whore, but i was too drunk to remember the exact date...

8. Favorite sayings: "spatula", "bleaaaaaaah", "there's no beer in water", "i need more beer", "i hate human nature", "i'm a dirty whore", etc.

9. Pets: Frisky and Laura. i want a gecko. anyone who mails me a gecko will be rewarded also. also, the LEGION OF DOOM STARFISH.

10. Hobbies: i go to school at OU. that means i have no free time. that also means i dont get any sleep. that also means that i will die of cirrhosis of the liver at an early age. when i did have time for fun stuff, i liked taking b/w pics, poetry, drinking tea, reading and some other stuff i can't remember right now.

11. My Music: pretty much anything. classic rock (Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Stones, and many more), tom waits, bob dylan (those are my BOYS, don't even get me started on them), 80's (new order, cure, smiths) jazz & blues, classical, TORI, ani, some folkie stuff like ARLO and PETE YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

12. Future Job: a bum. seriously! i'm an english major, do you actually think that will get me a JOB? me and laura have it all figured out. since she is an engineer, she will "engineer" us a shack and we can make arts and crafts instead of having real jobs. i am currently studying the art of selling my body for money so i have "dirty whore-dom" as a back-up plan.

13. Favorite food: anything that isnt from the OU cafeteria. veggies and chicken. chicken.....mmmmmmmmm. certified member of the FAT KULT. GET FAT!

14. Favorite drink: anything that comes out of a bottle-like beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer. jagermeister, anything else i can get my hands on. check out the drinklist for more.

15. Favorite Movies: GUMMO. city of the lost children. american history x. lots and lots and lots. i'm a movie addict. except for pink flamingos. i dont ever want to see that guy make his butthole sing, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!

16. Most interesting event of my life to date: getting chased by the ice cream man through the middle of atlanta at 2am. true story. i'm scarred for life. you think i'm kidding.

17. Fears: the ice cream man, spiders, pelicans, ballyhoos, school, the strangers that visit our room, freaky-john, narcols, human nature exams, rabid animals.

18. Bad Habits: umm. ok, here's your dissertation: smoking, drinking myself into a stupor waaaaay too frequently, peeing outside, stealing tree branches and putting them in the freezer, streaking, falling over, flashing cars, stealing hubcaps, stealing small children and selling them on the black market, doing my homework (at OU this is a lifethreatening activity), narcolepsy, procrastination, stealing plants and boiled eggs, nail biting, spending too much money (see bethany's drinking habits), i just have way too many obssessive tendencies. and the list goes on.

19. Notorious Abilities: i can sleep through anything, especially when i pass out (even cars running into the apartment i am sleeping in). i can't puke (no matter how hard i try, no matter how much i drink). i can never find matching socks (if they match, you can bet money that its a bad day). i am usually "the person who is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot", i am also known for being a dirty whore. i am also notorious because my little brother is a dirty whore too (you could say it runs in the family).

20. Much Love to: laura, the GODFATHER OF ALL DIRTY WHORES, tommy the gay flasher, all the nifty people at school (you know who you are), the Spatula Fairy, my kitty and baby solomon.