Only in Canada,

......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the
store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes
at the front.
.....do people order double cheese burgers,large fries, and a diet coke.
......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters.
......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put
our useless junk in the garage.
......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call
waiting so we don't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
the first place.
......do we buy hot dogs in packages of 12 and buns in packages of 8.
.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli'
in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning' bloodsucking creatures'.
......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

You know you're from Canada when ...

1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at
Christmas.
4. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
5. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with
snow.
6. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8
buttons.
7. The local newspaper covers national and international headlines on 2
pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
8. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
9. You find -40C a little chilly.
10. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.
11. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewellery
and your winter boots.
12. You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.
13. You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada.