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Get off me cheese
One day while walking through the vast open fields of the magic monkey men, Ted and his cardboard cut out friend, Burt were attacked by the fearsome magic monkey men’s army of turnip enhanced potato’s and banana’s. They stole all of their pyjamas so they had none to give to the umbrella people of Swindon. Feeling despondid they decided to engage in a bit of hanky panky before going after the magic monkey men with Burt’s magical piece of coal which when used on his enemies turns them into a giant peanut that reverses time but only time. So off they went in search of the magic monkey men’s powerful army of potato’s and banana’s to fight for the God given right of freedom for the pyjamas of Plymouth. It was just like the time the pigeons came back from a race in Allonby, which had in a word ‘taken it out of them’. So then they hired a baker to bake some tea cakes so Ted and Burt could offer a truce to the magical monkey men’s army or Burt would have to use his magical piece of coal that Superman gave him to rid the Earth of the super sneaky weasels and big mac’s. Meanwhile the magic monkey men were getting bored with the unmagical pyjamas and decided to go to the toilet and play ludo with me the Devil but they lost because I am invincible at ludo in the car park at the supermarket the mortals call Tesco which sell eggs, who say’s I can’t eat 50 eggs. I am the Devil; I go to AA meetings to pick up chicks because they are alcoholics. Anyway the magical monkey men were scared of Burt and his magical piece of coal because they knew he could destroy their bacon rolls, so they made an agreement to live together only if they could shag Mo Molam together as a family like in Neighbours going at it with Libby till dawn, but only if Carl’s away on holiday with his wife at the Birmingham civic centre and he started raping the mascot of the 1990 world cup in a biscuit tin made in Kent which is really where Titi Camara comes from even through he says he is French Guinea, which doesn’t really exist because of the Britney Spears space program in which Britney Spears tries to get raped in every single episode by Burt Reynolds in his 1942 movie ‘Burt’s escape from Reynolds’ which was shot in Victoria Beckham’s black thong which goes right up the crack in her arse which David Beckham shoves stickle bricks up but only the green ones, which are made from clubbed baby seals which Louise Redknapp keeps warm in her microwave of green peace who save golf balls on the island of Russia. Where Stalin grew to fame as the gardener of Walt Disney’s world of cancer where plant pots roam loose on the plains of Africa where Princess Diana died of cancer and so did Hitler who tragically died of ear cancer in the 1980’s not in 1945 as stated in crappy history books which also say Cilla Black is a Martian from Liverpool in the region of Clacton. Meanwhile the magical monkey men had gone to Hollywood to star in and produce their own version of Mars attacks starring Tony Danza, who is more badger then bodger of the late great Jimmy Hill who has got a moustache like Roland Rat. I agree to differ as Louise Redknapp does not have a microwave only a trowl as any good man who plays the tambourine like a mad man will tell you, but only is he looks like Fran Healy from Travis, who lives in Bangladesh with Mork from ‘Mork and Mindy who indulge in anal sex with hairy teddy bears and Rod Hull. So getting back to cancer which all women have because they have tits which is really sleeping cancer (careful) which causes death by the starvation of Kellogg’s frostys which is uncalled for really even though Cilla Black is the cause of all devastation in the world, despite what her manager thinks she did wipe out all the dinosaurs with an egg whisk and a tin of cockalakee soup (saucy). The man who looked like putting sugar on his weetabix, but was stopped by our hero’s and their magical piece of coal now owed a debt to society for the tragedy that almost took place in this great land of flying penguins so the man known as ‘Man’ followed our hero’s to Birmingham to find Dr Carl Kennedy in the Birmingham civic centre having an affair with the mascot of the 1994 world cup. So our hero’s went off to find the penguins of industrial magic who could get them all home in a fig roll powered lampshade which of course they did apart from the chimpanzee of time which travelled home in a flying lemon powered by magnetic branston pickle and they all lived not very happily ever after because they all contracted cancer of the turnip and grew into giant waste paper bins (on sale in MFI rrp £9.99) and died a slow agonising death from a mauling from the Queen of the potato people (lovely women) what must she be thinking.
Shibby.
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