Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a relative was stirring, not even a Uncle Bill Joe; The panties were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that Pimp Nicholas soon would be there;

     The children were nestled all snug in one bed while visions of porno danced in their heads; And mamma in the nude, and I in my cap, had just settled down for a long winter's fun.

     When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from on top of her to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

    The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny pimpdeer,

     With a little driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Pimp Nick. More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
 

     "Now, BAMBI! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN! On, FANATASIA! on CUPID! on, CONHER and BLITZEN! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

      As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,
 So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,With the sleigh full of adult novelity toys, and Pimp Nicholas too.

     And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The prancing and pawing of each little high heel. As I drew in my hand, and was turning around, Down the chimney Pimp Nicholas came with a bound.

     He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all varnished with hot wax; A bundle of adult novelity toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

     His eyes -- how they twinkled! his pimples how merry His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin made a perfect goti.

     The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

     He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

     He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the panties; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger Mary Sue Pa's -----, And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

      He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT IN BED!"

Super Hick by: Mark Once upon a time, a very stupid hick one day wondered too far away from her truck on Cinder blocks, when she stumbled on a barrel with a radioactive logo on it and the words "Dangerous, Do not open!" Of course hicks have no idea what do not meens, after all, they sleep with their siblings. Anywho, the hick took it back to the barn where many many hicks were having a debate as to who is smarter, hicks or the amish. The hick with the barrel tried to ask someone what the words on the drum meant, but coudlnt get anyone's attention. She decided to climb up on top of a haystack so everyone would see her and listen to her. The hick put the barrel on top of the hay first, then started to climb up, she was almost on top when one of her brothers spotted her and came up behind her and grabbed her buttoux, hoping to lure her to have sex. The female hick obliged, because she was brought up to imbreed, and she climbed down to succumb to temptation with her brother. On the way down, she accidentaly knocked over the barrel of radioactive waste and it spilled onto the ground and all over the hicks. Suddenly all the hicks in the room grew bigger, and their arms turned into huge shotguns and their legs turned into pitchforks. These new hicks grew to be at least 100 feet tall and could see across their feilds and towards the city. Seeing all the strange glowing things all together, the group of hicks aproached the city wondering how the light could be bright with only candles *hicks dont have elecctricity*. So the rampaging gaggle of hicks went to the glowing city, and upon arriving there, they saw many horrible things they have never seen before, such as cars and television. This angered the hicks, who became enraged and muttered strange slang and weird words like *a hyuck*. The hicks began destroying anything they saw and didnt understand *which was just about everything*. The city seemed as if it had no hope, as the hicks muderously blew up everything in their path. What will happen next? Stay tooned!!! (ill finish this later) Then.. out of nowhere Gokou and Vegeta teleport infront of the hicks.. But they are to late.. the hicks all killed themselves in a giant orgy... It wasn't a pretty sight..