For New Stuff page down:
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Christmas of the Times
On the first recount of Christmas my country gave to me ...
a disputed presidency.
On the second recount of Christmas my country gave to me ...
two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the third recount of Christmas my country gave to me ...
three pregnant chads, two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the fourth recount of Christmas my country gave to me ...
four contested ballots, three pregnant chads, two campaign spins,
and a disputed presidency.
On the fifth recount of Christmas my country gave to me ...
five... court filings! -- Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads,
two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the sixth recount of Christmas my country
gave to me... six disenfranchised voters, five... court filings!
Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads, two campaign spins,
and a disputed presidency.
On the seventh recount of Christmas my country gave to me...
seven politicians babbling, six disenfranchised voters,
five... court filings! Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads,
two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the eighth recount of Christmas my country
gave to me... eight spokesmen whining, seven politicians babbling,
six disenfranchised voters, five... court filings! Four contested
ballots, three pregnant chads, two campaign spins,
and a disputed presidency.
On the ninth recount of Christmas my country gave to me...
nine reporters guessing, eight spokesmen whinng, seven
politicians babbling, six disenfranchised voters, five... court
filings! Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads,
two campaign spins, and adisputed presidency.
On the tenth recount of Christmas my country gave to me...
ten legal rulings, nine reporters guessing, eight spokesmen
whining, seven politicians babbling, six disenfranchised voters,
five... court filings! Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads,
two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the eleventh recount of Christmas my country gave to me...
eleven judges judging, ten legal rulings, nine reporters guessing,
eight spokesmen whining, seven politicians babbling, six
disenfranchised voters, five... court filings! Four contested ballots,
three pregnant chads, two campaign spins, and a disputed presidency.
On the twelveth recount of Christmas my country gave to me...
twelve lawyers lying, eleven judges judging, ten legal rulings,
nine reporters guessing, eight spokesmen whining, seven
politicians babbling, six disenfranchised voters, five... court filings!
Four contested ballots, three pregnant chads, two campaign spins...
and... a disputed presidency!
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NEW YORK --
The New York Mets announced today that they are going to court to get
an additional inning added to the end of Game 5 of the World Series.
The batting, pitching, and bench coaches for the Mets held a press
conference earlier today. They were joined by members of the Major
League Players Union.
"We meant to hit those pitches from the Yankee pitchers," said the Mets
batting coach. "We were confused by the irregularities of the pitches we
received and believe we have been denied our right to hit."
One claim specifically noted that a small percentage of the Mets batters
had intended to swing at fast balls, but actually swung at curve balls. It
was clear that these batters never intended to swing at curve balls, though
a much higher percentage were not confused by the pitches.
Reporters at the press conference pointed out that the Mets had extensively
reviewed film of the Yankees pitchers prior to the World Series and had in
fact faced the Yankees in inter-league play earlier in the year.
The fact remains that some of the pitches confused us and denied us of
our right to hit," said the Mets batting coach. "The World Series is not
over yet and the Yankees are celebrating prematurely."
Major League Baseball has reviewed the telecast of all the World
Series games and recounted the balls and strikes called by the
pires of each game. "While some of the strikes called against
the Mets were, in fact, balls, there were not enough of them to change
the outcome of the World Series," the commissioner said.
Another portion of the Mets legal claim stated that, based on on-base
percentage, the Mets had actually won the World Series, regardless of
the final scores of the games. "It's clear that we were slightly on-base
more often than the Yankees," said a Mets spokesman. "The World
Series crown is rightly ours."
The manager of the Mets has remained in relative seclusion, engaging in
some light jogging for exercise. He has stated that he believes "we need
to let the process run its course without a rush to judgment."
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I thought this was really funny.....lol
I'm not sure were it originated
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This was in the St. Louis Post Dispatch
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The following was in an email forward....
I voted for George W. Bush, but at the time was under the impression that I was voting for his dad. I would now like to have the entire state of CT redo the election. Can you help me or, in the alternative, tell me where if can find an attorney who will sue everybody so that I get to have my way.
Craig
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My name is Kelly. I didn't vote on election day because I had PMS and I just felt like being mad at everybody. Now that my period is over and I know who needs extra votes to win, can I vote? If you don't let me I will have to throw a fit and cry discrimination. They did make PMS a real disease you know. Jesse Jackson, will you help me?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Problem,
Me and approximately 250,000 of my friends voted for Al Gore but intended to vote for George W. Bush. We just made a mistake in the ballot box. You should trust this because we cried and we believe our rights were taken away. So just go ahead and switch those votes to Gov. Bush.
Thanks,
David
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How many Palm Beach Democrats does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
None. They cant find the hole!
Anonymous
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I picked the wrong lottery numbers from last night. Now that I found out the numbers, can I re-pick numbers after I know the results so I can win the money????
tim
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I was in a crack-induced haze. Do I get a chance to revote, if I don't remember for whom I voted?
Ted
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We use a punch card system in Ft. Myers, Fla. While I was voting, a flying bug got stuck in my eye and caused my eye to well up with water. This of course impaired my vision. Because my vision was impaired I realized that I accidentally voted for Al Gore. Upon realizing this tragic and grave
mistake, I left the voting booth, folded the ballot in half, walked across the room, and then reluctantly dropped the ballot in the ballot box.
Since this election is so close and there is no doubt that the bug was still flying around the polls when I left, there is a possibility that other people may have accidentally voted for Al Gore. Therefore, if the will of the people is to prevail, all people who had bugs in their eyes while voting should be able to recast their vote.
Thank You
Scott
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I could have made a mistake when I voted in Louisiana. If Florida gets to vote again, can we vote again in Louisiana too? Why not let all states vote again?
Kay
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I experienced some irregularity while voting in Washington state. I had been eating a diet really consisting of a lot of breads, etc. and I just started cramping up right in the booth while voting. In Washington we use a "connect the dots" method of voting. Because of the pain that I was in, I just started scribbling all over the page. I am not certain for whom I voted. Since my experience in the booth I have been on a steady diet of greens and prunes and am feeling much better. I think that if Washington State had a
re-vote I would be in better condition to know what was on the ballot instead of fighting off the pain of constipation. I really appreciate Fox News opening up the forum like this for me to air this problem. I do not think that it is unreasonable to think that there are many others in the state of Washington -- andperhaps nationwide -- that were suffering from constipation. This would make voting really difficult. There should be a mandated period of at least 48 hours where everyone is only allowed to eat greens. That would really take care of this issue in the future.
Brad
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