My Father
by Annette
Robert D. Gregory, "Bob" to everyone that
knew him was a man full of love for his family, his friends and
his fellow man. He became a man at 11 when his Dad died and
assumed responsibility for his two sisters and brother while his
Mom worked and kept a roof over their head. He worked hard all of
his life, was married 54 years to my Mom, helped put two children
through college and touched so many lives.
We noticed little things at first. He was trying to show my
eldest nephew how to cut an angle for a school project and
couldn't figure it out....we just laughed it off. He was a
craftsman with his woodworking, self taught and took pride in his
workmanship. He never complained about feeling bad. at the end,
before he went to the hospital and we found out he had CJD he
just couldn't get his words to say what he wanted, but he never
complained.
We really noticed him going downhill after his son n law that he
adored was killed in Desert Storm. He took no interest in the
home I was building in Va., didn't even check on the building for
me....that was so unlike him. I moved home to Virginia in August
1991 and it's like he was waiting to see I was OK. One day I saw
his truck at the store behind their house and he was sitting in
it...told me he couldn't remember how to get home. I told him to
follow me and I drove him the one block to their house. He never
drove again but wouldn't tell Mom why. He'd prepare his Sunday
school lesson, he taught a men's class and forget in mid sentence
what he was saying...the little things build up.
In mid November he had a kidney stone removed as an outpatient.
My Mom and bother took him to the hospital and it was very late
that night when they got home. Daddy couldn't tell the DR he
wanted to come home with Mom. Finally, they let her talk to him
and he nodded his head to her and he was released. My brother
brought him back to the house while Mom had his prescriptions
filled. I had soup waiting and he stared at it. I finally put
crackers in it and he ate two bowls. That was the last decent
meal he ate, mine and Mom's homemade soup. He went upstairs to
their den and his legs just quick working. After several falls
and my brother having to drive 25 miles to put him to bed, Mom
called the Dr. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital and
never came home again.
They ran all the tests and everything was negative until the EEG.
The EEG gave us the answer, one we had never heard of, CJD. The
doctor gave us what little info he had on the illness and got
Daddy into hospice. he was there less than two weeks. Hourly, we
saw his condition change. That Saturday he recognized his
granddaughter and kissed her, by Sunday he didn't know who she
was. He couldn't swallow, he couldn't talk, he couldn't see. he
laid there in the bed wanting his hand held. If we took our hand
away, he searched for us. Mom and I set by his bed and held his
hand for hours.
The nurse told me on Nov. 26 someone had to give him permission
to die. My Mother and older brother couldn't so I did. I talked
Mom into getting her hair done the next day and I told Daddy she
would be late
coming in on Wednesday and why. I promised him I would take care
of Mom and told him Jesus was waiting and soon he and Bill would
be together again.
The next morning, I got there early and started my watch. At
10:15am I noticed hemorrhages under his skin and called the nurse
to the room. She told me this was it. I called my brother and our
minister and then I held him and talked to him while he died. The
next day was Thanksgiving and I told him he was going to be with
Bill and to tell him I still missed and loved him. Daddy died
peacefully in my arms and went home to God. Ten minutes after he
died, I met my Mom at the door and told her he was gone.
We were blessed. He was in no pain and he touched so many lives
that he keeps giving back to us. My Dad was a chaplain in the
jail ministry and he touched so many lives. He was the most
unselfish man I have ever know. He put everyone else first. We
use to laugh and say his garden grew every year because God used
it to feed so many people.
They wouldn't perform an autopsy. The family DR asked my brother
and I if he could find out if there was a blood test for us to
take to see if we stood to inherit CJD would we take it. We both
said no. I have remarried and my husband knows if my brain goes,
let me go. Daddy was not put on anything except an iv to keep him
confortable, his death was easy. Coping with it for his family
hasn't been. My brother cannot discuss it. When my niece finished
college three years after Daddy's death I told her how proud Papa
Bob would have been. We have found the strength to keep living
but I hate the month of Nov and all it represents. On Nov. 27,
Bob Gregory will be dead seven (7) years. His wife still weeps
for him and she is 82 now. His daughter has remarried and his
granddaughter married, we've brought new people into the family
that never knew what a neat guy he was. He still gives to us with
all he taught us. I want to give back and help others walking
this long walk of CJD.
Annette Gregory Barrett Kibbe
daughter of Robert D. Gregory